Your daughter sounds like a carbon copy of me...I too started with 'wanting flatter abs"..strange.
those of us with the AN and OCD personalities are perfectionists...I was always the "good girl" and it added lots of stress ( self-imposed ) to always be perfect. I guess you can help your daughter by stessing to her that she doesn't have to be perfect.
My healing came gradually when we moved back to the city I had originally moved away from. I gained weight simply by being on BCP's. I think I just gradually got back into my old life and the weight came back...unfortunately I carry the "weight issue" with me to this day. I am now about 25 lbs overweight (was 60 lbls over weight pre-bomb)...and it is a daily struggle.
Interestingly, I too have autoammune disorders - hypothyroidism amongst them.....
I honestly think that the AN and OCD are traits that can be controlled, but are nonetheless there for the rest of our lives.
Just keep being the great mom that you are, stay aware, and your daughter will recover. The SSRI's are essential in my case.
Quote: Interestingly, I too have autoammune disorders - hypothyroidism amongst them.....
FYI - new guidelines last year from the endocrinologists, basically saying if you have symptoms your TSH should be kept between 1 and 3, not 1 and 5 as before. Lots of people were probably receiving inadequate amounts of thyroid hormone under the previous guidelines. Infertility docs know that hypothyroid women have the best chance of conceiving if their TSH is between 1 and 2 - I figure that's probably where most of the rest of us need to be too. Might help some with the weight if you had them tweak your dosage, if you're not already in that range. (you know TSH goes the opposite direction of T4).
Therapist wants to put my D on BCPs to preserve her bone density.
D had a good day yesterday. She stayed home from school because she was exhausted and had insomnia the night before. Later she ran some shopping errands with me and we ate lunch together. She ate pretty well and although she felt uncomfortable afterwards, we were able to talk about it. In the afternoon she had an appointment with an accupuncturist her therapist recommended, to try to help her with her digestive problems. Have to say I've always had my doubts about accupuncture, but D seemed better afterwards. Eveb if it's just placebo effect, I'll take it And the accupuncturist put on these "seeds" (like little bb's under a piece of tape) so D could stimulate those points herself, which at least gives her something to do when she feels uncomfortable.
D's mood seems much better, I think she feels hopeful now that therapy has started. It's so interesting, because it's not her whole body image that's distorted, just her abdomen. She was showing me her wrist yesterday and telling me how awful it looked because it was so skinny and looked like it could break easily. And she says she just wants to get strong so she can surf again. So all things we can work with, thank goodness.
Had an interesting thought about the OCD aspects of anorexia. See, H was always pretty critical of my body. Even when I was quite thin (too thin, in retrospect) he was acutely aware of my imperfections (did I have a little saddlebag? Were my thighs too flabby?).
Now, we've talked about how my H's criticisms of me on other counts were nothing compared to the self-critical voice he hears inside his own head. And I'm beginning to wonder if H doesn't have that same self-critical voice going off in his head about his own appearance. H is 5'10", quite fit with a typical surfer's broad shoulders. His weight has always been pretty stable between 165 and 175, and I've always thought he looked wonderful. But he will complain about his weight when he is at 175, and ask me for affirmations about how good he looks when he's down to 165. Frankly, I don't even usually notice a difference - he looks great all the time to me
I am wondering if he doesn't also have a little perfectionist, slightly OCD voice in his head telling him he never looks good enough? (I, on the other hand, have a little guy in my head who says "Dahling, you look FAHBULOUS" even when I'm in sweats and overweight ).
after watching multiple playbacks of the crass and ridiculous performance by Jackson and Timberlake at half-time
and after hearing a multitude of comments about the whole issue...
I have actually been able to find a small jewel in that big heap of garbage. Jackson did NOT feel that she had to have triple-D silicone-enhanced balloon boobs in order to show one to the world.
Haven't written in a while but want U to know I keep up with your sitch and am always inspired.
You are indeed an awesome mom. Am very glad for your D that you're not over-reacting and are getting her the help she needs.
She sounds awesome, too. But of course! Her parents have shown her how to surmount ...
Mt. Whitney!
Food is not just fuel, is it? Our culture with its focus on outer beauty does lure ya into the "looky loo" game, and self-image takes on great importance. This is something I continue to work on, too.
Your D will have a good head start, addressing this now. Way to go, Ellie!
Over here in my neighborhood it almost seems like spring, and I am keeping busy.
February has not only Valentine's day (my WAH's use-to-be-fave-holiday, back when he was romantic) but is also the bday month of both Redhead and my Ex New Guy.
So I'm going off to a long weekend trip mid-month with my fave girlfriend.
That way, I don't have to figure out how to celebrate. I won't be sad, or reminded of "what's missing" -- I'll be singing with a pile of pagans (or whoever's at the retreat).
Thanks so much for the recap of your recovery. It is very helpful to those of us still in limboland.
Another day, another appointment - yesterday had to take D to an intake appointment with the psych department at our HMO because they need to write the prescription for the Prozac - but you can't see the psychiatrist without first seeing the therapist (even though we are already seeing our own outside therapist). So poor D had to go through telling her whole story again to another person, just so we could get an appointment two weeks from now to see the psychiatrist, who will ask her the SAME questions, just to write her a prescription for the drug (which I am already giving to her anyway). Poor thing
Today I need to take her in for blood tests and an EKG, tomorrow she sees the nutritionist for the first time.
I had to tug on her slightly to eat yesterday, but in the end, I think her calorie intake was almost normal - of course, I really can't know if she is purging or not, but I'm pretty sure if she did it couldn't have happened until the evening.
She amused herself yesterday by making notes on people she saw in waiting rooms (we also had to stop at the optometrist) and last night she wrote up some hilarious descriptions. She's such a good writer, it has really taken a back seat to her songwriting this past year, but she could easily be a novelist.
I know it's going to be a very long road ahead, with lots of ups and downs, and progress and relapses, etc. etc. - but what better training could I possibly have to deal with it than to have gone through this DBing process? If it helps me save my daughter, then I don't regret a single minute of the pain that brought me here in the first place.
Poor kid- It is so hard to be a girl these days. I personally think those skeleton models are so unsexy. I watch what I eat very carefully- but somehow, didnt obsess too much as a kid. Is she into sports? My D14 has been eating half her food- very unlike her- this week and wanted to go to the gym- but she swim teams almost everyday. I worry when the exercise drops off what will she think or do? I find an interest in sports slows down me "living to eat, rather than eating to live" mentality that pops up. I know you are sort of a jock! I hope things continue to get easier for you all, Shay
Shay - D is mainly into surfing and snowboarding. In fact, I think one good motivator that she has is that she loves to surf, and she no longer can because she's too weak!
We were really blindsided by this, so keep a close eye on your daughter. It's scary how sneaky they can be.
And the accupuncturist put on these "seeds" (like little bb's under a piece of tape) so D could stimulate those points herself, which at least gives her something to do when she feels uncomfortable. 
).
