Had an interesting thought about the OCD aspects of anorexia. See, H was always pretty critical of my body. Even when I was quite thin (too thin, in retrospect) he was acutely aware of my imperfections (did I have a little saddlebag? Were my thighs too flabby?).
Now, we've talked about how my H's criticisms of me on other counts were nothing compared to the self-critical voice he hears inside his own head. And I'm beginning to wonder if H doesn't have that same self-critical voice going off in his head about his own appearance. H is 5'10", quite fit with a typical surfer's broad shoulders. His weight has always been pretty stable between 165 and 175, and I've always thought he looked wonderful. But he will complain about his weight when he is at 175, and ask me for affirmations about how good he looks when he's down to 165. Frankly, I don't even usually notice a difference - he looks great all the time to me
I am wondering if he doesn't also have a little perfectionist, slightly OCD voice in his head telling him he never looks good enough? (I, on the other hand, have a little guy in my head who says "Dahling, you look FAHBULOUS" even when I'm in sweats and overweight ).
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