Barrybran II - Six Weeks In

[Barrybran]

Hi all, now seems as good a time as any to start a new thread. Here's a link to my old one:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2410333#Post2410333

Just a quick breakdown, my wife and I have been together for three years, married for 18 months and she has recently decided to separate though we'll be living under one roof (separate bedrooms) due to financial reasons. We have three beautiful children together, the youngest being my only biological child.

In my last post I mentioned that I was curious about how to handle intimacy when it came up despite not expecting it to occur for several months. Long story short, my wife and I had sex today so I'm hoping to hear from some WAS's about their thoughts on sex during separation.

Two days ago, my wife and I spoke about the details of our separation. We agreed on a plan and now we are waiting for the pieces to fall into place. I listened and validated, and yesterday she mentioned that a "weight had been lifted from [her] shoulders" but she still didn't trust me due to my infidelity (inappropriate internet conversations and picture exchange). Ever since, things have been great, we've hung out, we've enjoyed each others company, we've had discussions about our situation (arrangements, not reconciliation) and commitments as well as general friendly conversation.

My wife came home from work early today as she suffered a migraine and went for a nap. An hour later, my wife sends me a text message saying she had a daydream about us having sex and that she wanted the real thing. Not knowing what to do, I went into the room she was sleeping in and talked about it with her. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea and that I didn't want to jeopardise our situation with short-term gratification. I was torn as I knew she wanted it, I wanted it and due to trust issues, I knew we were going to have to deal with sex at some point if we do reconcile so it wasn't all a bad thing. We spoke about expectations and I made sure she knew that if we did it, it would be a one off, I wouldn't expect it again and that I want her to understand that if we did do anything physical in the future, from hugs to sex, that it would be treated as such. We ended up having sex and it was passionate, as opposed to some of the mechanical sex we had found ourselves having the last time I was home.

After we finished, I didn't really know how to handle things so I went back to doing my own thing as if it didn't happen. I have had to suppress thoughts through the day but I feel I've handled myself well. My wife and I hung out some more, played games, talked, laughed and even sorted out our financial situation so I think I've handled myself pretty well.

Safe to say, I've had a good day. As much as I enjoy sex with my wife, it was the surprise that it came up and the knowledge that my actions in giving her space and keeping things light allowed her to feel desire as opposed to me badgering her and her closing up.

If there are any WAS's reading this (I hear Sandi is the guru...) I'd like to know if I should be putting sex on the backburner or if I should be comfortable doing it if my wife wants it. My end goal is to reconcile and I don't want to screw that up by giving into temptation but if there's "no harm done" then I'm happy to enjoy this part of our lives while knowing not to expect it.