Dealing with Uncertainty...

[NeedingMore]

Well, BF finally texted and going dark was the key for me. I was upset having not heard from him after X-mas, but on the 4th day he texted, saing he hoped I was ok, he hadn't heard from me and was worried! WHAT!? I didn't respond. It was late when he texted so I waited till morning and he texted again before I did, asking if everything was OK. I said I was good, just really busy...kept it kinds cryptic, but then he said he missed me and wanted to see me. So we made some plans and saw each other that night. It was late when we got off work so we just hung out a little bit and snuggled. I was so calm when I saw him...I was ME. It made me realize how NOT me I have been every other time I have seen him. Nervous, shaking inside and trying to seem calm on the outside. All of that was gone. Perhaps it was his reaching out...or perhaps a miraculous change in my perspective is to blame. I just give up all control on our outcome. I finally reached that point. And you know, he is responding well. I am moving forward and hope to have minimal back sliding from here on out. HE seemed different too...more like the old BF that I know and love. Maybe we are both coming out of the fog. All I know is that I haven't felt this great and normal in months. I haven't cried in over 5 days. WOW!!! That's a record. Finally this DBing stuff has sunken in! The thing is, you can't make yourself get to this point, you have to let it happen on its own.