I've got 3 kitties Heather. They are great stress relievers. I took a mental health day today. Watching football and hockey and playing some games. I get to go back to work tomorrow which is a good thing. I need to get out of this house. Just like Thanksgiving, too much home time has meant a nasty disposition for W. I guess it's too real for her when we are all here together. She has been overtly nasty today.
I've got a buddy I'm taking out to lunch tomorrow because he's leaving for a new job. Fun time with a great friend.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Man. I'm experiencing a challenging patch with W. Since Thanksgiving I have received the following: -another ILYBINILWY speech -I don't intend to love you statement -Worries about her health because of frequent bathroom trips -Seeing W crying for the first time in 6 months -a Christmas in which she basically didn't participate -several days of open nastiness -W cleaning up her side of the bedroom for the first time in 6 months -today an invitation to decide "What in the world we are doing."
What a roller coaster!
I'm hoping to avoid R talk when bedtime comes tonight. No good can come from it. I know what I want and what I'm going to do. Unless she has decided to move out or serve me, we have no new developments to discuss.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
You have stated where you are, so has she. She is escalating because you won't comply (ie move out). That has wrecked her fantasy.
Practice these:
I understand how you feel, and you do what you must to make you feel safe and happy.
If you feel you need the space, I understand. However, I am not moving out.
I understand how you feel and if you need to do xyz, I don't agree, but I won't hinder your actions.
She is trying her hardest to get you gone. If she addresses bathroom trips, say "That would be worrisome, but I am sure your doctor will have some answers.
Forgive me but sounds like UTI, bladder, or STI. Or drinking too much water...
Lunch with my buddies was awesome today. I literally laughed until I cried in the car on the way. Fun bunch of guys. It was great to be away from crazy town for a while.
Worst thing about this evening was that S12 even looked at me like "what is going on?" While she was stomping around and huffing at me.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
You are doing a fine job....The wife is nasty, but that is just part of the fun we call the MLC rollercoaster.....I don't suggest getting on as the tickets are free until the rides starts moving LOL.
Kate's advice is spot on....follow it...validate....and then move on with your day. She is the one who wants you to move out, not you. Hence if she wants the living conditions changed, she can change them and move out.
Glad you enjoyed lunch
A reality 2x4 here....The bathrooms trips are more than likely not to use the toilet (though it may happen LOL). When you noted the trips (which was bad, but we discussed that) she was in an environment where she had to hide and her bedroom was not available. She probably does it at home also, but she is more than likely using the bathroom as a hiding place to get away. Just like everything else you have noted....She is having affairs and the fantasy of those affairs is being disrupted by you. She couldn't holiday with them, wake up Christmas morning with them, etc......In their world that is depressing. The truth more than likely on the day you noted....she was going to text her OM about what a jerk you were being (not that you were, just you weren't acting according to her plans).
As for "what in the world are we doing"....You know what you are doing.
We are both teachers Lost. That means large breaks at holiday time. It was a relief to go back to work yesterday and have her go back to work today. Some regularity should take over. Not as much time for me to observe and report and not as much time for her to ponder how awful our M is.
BTW, she has been "escaping" at school as well.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Eh, it's also possible she is having stomach issues. Stress is a killer as is pre-menopause if that's mixed into this.
Could also be a combination of all of the above. Could be none of it.
In the end, she has to get her head right before her body will comply.
You're spot on though J. You know what you're about. You know what you want. A R talk with her is not a good use of your time.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
