Wife Said She's Done - Pt. 2 ..and Still Hopeful

[OneDay]

Well it all came out tonight and I have to admit I stayed very compsed and confident . I used eye contact and validated what she said. I DBed my ass off and I'm feeling pretty darn good.

She brought up our joint up checking accts and how she is concerned about what I'm spending (which has never been an issue). I asked what she would like to do about it as I could tell she was concerned. We talked a little about splitting the acct but she didn't know how that would work as to who would pay what n how we would split the mortgage, bills etc ( I didn't even respond after that comment)

She brought up the D and our attorneys. She admitted to me that she had no idea nor did she see the papers that were served to me. She said I just let attorney handle it all, that's his job. I honestly think she has no clue what to expect. She flat out said. I don't know I've never been through this before and there is so much legal aspects involved here. It took everything I had to hold it in. I did have to interject and I don't really care If it goes against DBing. But I said I honestly think we can handle this D ourself through mediation without paying for attorneys. She kind of agreed and I said think it over and get back with me.

Now, she's a Smart women. But she is acting so dumb with this D and the attorneys. She has no clue what's going on with the D or her attorney(only that he has 35yr exp so she should trust him) She said she only talked to him a few times n let him handle the rest. I asked her if she knew what her attorney was asking for and her response was NO I haven't seen anything, why what's he asking for??? I couldn't / can't believe she is handeling this so carelessly.

She also brought up that she feels I'm trying to push her buttons by not helping as much as I use to with the household chores. Also that I've been taking off a lot doing ur own thing and leaving most of the chores for her. I attempted a 180 with the chores as I use to do a lot and then last week started slacking. Obviously she noticed and didn't like it all. Gonna have to backtrack here I think.

It honestly feels like she jumped into this so quickly and doesn't know what she want or what to expect out of this (even child custody) It's as if she's going to let her attorney and the court determine her fate.

Be Courteous, consistent and confident. You're letting her ideas or your perception of them rule your thoughts. What if she were gone (magically...not anything bad) tomorrow. Who would you be? what would you do???

I have been doing that. My perception is killing it. That last sentace completely summed up what this whole journey is all aboutt. Others have said similar but this really hit home for me Thanks.