I sent regrets to sil and a thank you for including me. I let h know that he needs to plan with the boys if he'll be bringing them.
I had a lovely new year's eve with my new friend and her family. This morning we spent 2.5 hrs at the gym, cycle, yoga, hot tub. Good start to the year!
H texted to ask if he could bring dinner over tonight so i said yes and i told the kids so they'd b home. He just left. It was positive. He doesnt share much of himself but he was interested in talking about my client that terminated me and offered ideas to get retribution (entertaining but not something i'm interested in). I got going on a few topics about incidents that were intolerable with this client and he listened.
We talked about what s15 will drive. H said maybe he'd give the old car h drives to s. i asked him to include s in at least evaluating what options there are. He's practically an adult and resents being told what he will do like he has no opinion or say. I said i didnt know how we'd even afford owning it unless s gets a job. I let h know my net worth went down over $6k in the last year. I pulled out my binder to verify the number for him.
He also mentioned wanting us all to go somewhere using his airline miles before they expire. He'd like to go to CA to stay with his moms siblings and his brother. I said i thought the kids would really like that. We talked about timing, during summer when school's out. I do not know if i would go on that trip, it seems hard, it is the trip we did back when we were dating and his relatives rolled out the red carpet. I don't know what my role is or how i feel about it all, but it doesnt need to be figured out right now. I sure wish i could travel, but i dont wish i could stay with h's relatives and be around him in this new scenario. I will think about it later.
H asked if s13 still goes to scouts on thursdays and if that is a better day to bring dinner. Sounds like he might be thinking about planning...very surprising.
All in all, h was on good behavior. He wasnt rude or mean. He is trying to spend time with us. He tried to give s15 some sweatpants but they werent the kind s15 would wear. S13 only came down for a minute and left again because he doesnt like the kind of food h brought. Teenagers really test your love.
Ah, but at the end, from the outside of the front door, he called in, "don't forget to lock the door"! I silently rolled my eyes as i was actually in the process of locking the door. Ah well what're ya gonna do? He is how he is. Mostly he is an ok guy.
Not that there is any indication that hes wanting to be anything but a decent X...i do feel walls up and some discomfort when he is tolerable, because i feel like i need to protect myself from getting involved with him and becoming abused and put down again, i feel vulnerable and question my ability to reject abuse. So far im doing ok but these are new skills needing to be built through application.
I'm left feeling a little bit of turmoil so i'm going out for a walk.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
