Today I asked myself, do I still love her? I do. Passionately. We are just very broken and need mending and TLC. But... am I a bit disgusted at her behavior? Yes. But I understand. The head and the heart - different views of the same situation.
I really think, if we can get our love life in sync with all the rest of our life, in which we have so much in common - we cab be unstoppable and completely there for each other for the duration. I always try to remind myself that when I judge her, I can't guarantee I wouldn't have done the same things. I can't describe how alone and sad I was in the same house and even in the same bed. We were both desperate and hurting. It's just that working from home, my chance of running into a desperate lonely woman were slim to none. Except for my W, but you know how it is when you're trapped in the vicious circle.
I may be too surly or depressed about my health sometimes. She's badly scarred by a neglectful upbringing and can be quite bitchy, to put it kindly. And we are both stubborn as hell. But.... show me a real Brady Bunch couple and I'll give you my retirement fund! And let me tell ya - the retirement fund will get ya a trailer in the back woods!
