August 2007: Got devastating news from vet that our dog had cancer in her stomach. Kept her overnight to pump in more blood as she was severely anemic. Texted Ms. Wonka of the news. She hemmed and hawed as she had a job interview. That really made me really mad. Sent a strongly worded text to Ms. Wonka about some "stupid interview when our dog is dying." Ms. Wonka made arrangements to drive down to our marital home so we could spend time together with our dog. Our dog lived three more days before crossing over in the comfort of our house. During this crazy time, I got a call from my mother that her sister, my aunt, had passed away in our sleep! Talk about double-whammy! Ms. Wonka and I worked on arrangements for our dog to be picked up and taken away to be cremated.
September 2007: Ms. Wonka drives down after I inform her that I've received the ashes of our dog. We go to a park that was a favorite of our dog and spread her ashes around the park. Emotional time for both of us in saying good-bye to our beloved dog.
December 2007-May 2008: Ms. Wonka presses hard for the house sale. Initial plan was to work through a mediator. Talks break down after some overly aggressive moves by Ms. Wonka's lawyer and I remove meditation off the table. Ms. Wonka still texts me. I inform my lawyer that I do not want any contact from Ms. Wonka. The house was sold in May 2008.
May 2008-January 2010: No communication between Ms. Wonka and I at all. It was during this time that I dove into the dating pool and dated some gals.
January 2010: Ms. Wonka initiates text wishing me HBD. I don't respond as it was too painful. Nor do I sent Ms. Wonka on her birthday in May 2010.
February 2010-Fall 2011: Zero communication.
Fall 2011: I inform Ms. Wonka that I had moved in with my father to support him as he was diagnosed with lung cancer. Ms. Wonka expresses concern and it is clear that she wanted to prolong the text convo. I didn't respond back at all. At that time, I was going through a bunch of stuff: Worry about my father, moving, and ending things with my girlfriend at that time. Didn't want Ms. Wonka around me as I had plenty of residual resentment and anger toward her.
Fall 2011-Fall 2012: Barely had any contact. Strictly limited to one liners wishing each other HBD in January and May.
Late September 2012: Include Ms. Wonka in a mass email to friends and family informing them of my father's passing. Ms. Wonka texted me her condolences.
November 2012: Asked Ms. Wonka for her phone number. Initiated the first call. We talked for about 45-minutes. I still remember the very end of the phone call with Ms. Wonka's words ringing in my ears: "I'd like for us to be healthy where we can support each other with mutual respect and encouragement."
December 2012: I fly down to warm South to visit my mother and sisters for the Christmas holidays. I initiated first text to Ms. Wonka wishing her a happy holiday and I was traveling to South. It ensued a banter of who had the better island visit. Ms. Wonka won hands down with her Bahamas trip. Pllllffffft to Ms. Wonka!
January 2013: Ms. Wonka texts me wishing me HBD with attachment of brightly colored card. I respond with thanks.
February 2013: Ms. Wonka surprises the heck out of me with a text about the Super Bowl. We text back and forth about the teams and game.
March 2013: Ms. Wonka springs another surprise about March Madness as she does not really care for college basketball. It came about because one of her college teams was going against mine in the Final 4. We banter back and forth with some competitive, good-natured jibes.
May 2013: I text Ms. Wonka wishing her HBD. She responds accordingly.
Mid-May 2013: Re-join DB forum with "Fellowship of The Ring" thread as I notice that there's more inner work to be done and re-learn stuff once again.
July 2013: Ms. Wonka initiates yet another innocuous text about the Royal baby. We banter back and forth on the names. Viola! Prince George comes into the world. I got the name right! So pllllft back at Ms. Wonka!
Our texts occur once a month now. Many of them are airy and fluffy. Nothing too heavy. Just recently wished each other a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and now HNY. So yes...the glacial does thaw out at some point, my dear Old!
