Hi flyonthewall. Thank you for responding. The situation is very confusing for me also!!
To break it down in more simple terms (if that is possible):
H moved out March 2012...He was drinking that night and woke me up at 2 AM and told me he had to go get a co-worker.I tried to stop him but he left.He texted me later and told me he wasn't coming home and that he would come later to talk about him moving out...I think he had an EA with his co-worker for a while and though I am not positive, I think it turned into a PA that night (BTW-he's 39,she is 24).
We did have a lack of communication in our marriage,he felt neglected by my lack of affection and we were essentially just existing with each other.
I went through all the usual begging,pleading and then tried DB also. He wasn't budging, though we would still do things/still do as a family (movies,dinner,holidays).
After 1 1/2 years of this I felt like I needed to try and move ahead although I still loved him and wanted to make it work. So this past summer I started to go out with a group of people, including the male co-worker.Nothing has gone on with this co-worker at all. I consider him a friend as any other. The reason H knows I go out is because he watches the kids. Me going out specifically with this co-worker is what triggered him to show jealousy. I confront him about this but he still denies wanting to make it work between us and him still wanting to pursue a divorce.I am the one that is not allowing us to move forward with it because I truely don't want it.
A few days before Christmas, H told me his "friend" was going to be staying with him from Dec 23 to mid-January.His mom is also staying with him until 2nd week in Jan.He wanted to know how I wanted him to handle this situation (the other woman) w/ the kids. I told him he had to choose and to let me know. Well, HE decided that he would come over on Christmas with his mom. They stayed from 8am until about 6pm although he did leave for about an hour. He left the OW at his house the whole time. He also chose to spend this past Sunday, which is his day w/ the kids, at our house so that he wouldn't have to tell them about OW. He says he is just trying to keep everyone happy and he knows he is failing at this.
This is where we currently stand...him having OW, him admitting that he is jealous of the thought of me with someone else but him wanting me to move on, him saying he knows he is not the one to make me happy, him wanting to move ahead w/divorce.
