ToughSpot, So sorry about your situation. About the kids: no, your wife and Lawyer are wrong about your W being primary caregiver, but of course her lawyer would say so and likely so will whoever is supporting her. (Her friends, family etc). If she has actually retained a lawyer you will need lto as well, and soon. if she has consulted a a lawyer but not yet retained, you will need to as well, and soon. ask your wife for mediation, or collabortaive law (look that up) instead of litigation. Unfortunately my exW rejected that notion and she litigated. it gets bloody nasty with litigators and her L will fill her full of dreams and nothing you can do about that except battle fr the custody at 50/50. they also have no automatic right to make you move out, unless she [censored] you into actions that create a bad look upon you....be careful...it happens. if you own the house, offer to buy her out. .We offered to buy each other out so in the end it had to be sold. We ended up in court for the custody access last July and exW got far from what she wanted. We are 50/50 and both bought smaller homes in the the same neighbourhood so that was less traumatic for the kids, although still very painful for the kids but they are settling now. The kids wanted 50/50 as the best of the bad situation. Your two older kids have a choice. The younger do not. If you feel you are as much a caregiver, and genuinely want to share the kids and all the duties you will need to fight for it. If it is just the drop off and pick ups, make a list of every single thing you do raising your kids. your lawyer will neednall this info and its details. It cost me a fortune, time and a lot of stress but knowing my heart and soul were into it and knowing what they really wanted I had to. It worked. Just be ready for ugliness, blame and a lot of lies about you and your character thrown at you. The truth will prevail. Really try and discuss mediation first or collaborative law....though her litigating lawyer will have other ideas if she has retained. You need legal advice, and now. My heart really goes out to you and it may be a long haul, but will get better.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
