Trains and Boats and Planes.......

[WenikiTiki]

And when you google my name and find those old blogs I wrote don't laugh too hard.

As 2014 starts up with a bang I am thinking about 2 years ago on New Years Day when my then H made his 6th turn back to me from OW. (I sure am a dense one.) And how hopeful and how right it felt that he would finally see the light and "Pick" me over the pathetic OW. Hard to compete with her brand of crazy though. And her fresh out of the psych ward vulnerability must have added to his sense needing to rescue her. I still remember how quickly he went from likening her to a rabbit stewer to just being temperamental. And that was a big turning point for me.

I sure was worn out by his to and fro game. So I bowed out.

So I lost the contest. She won the big prize. And I entered into a land of nevers. I never thought I'd be divorced. I never thought I would go back to work full-time. I never thought I would end up working in HR. I never thought I would fingerprint people and make ID badges and smart cards.

I love my job, my co-workers, my feeling of belonging. Many people early on, when I first started posting, told me to get a job. And yes, that was excellent advice. My job might be the best thing ever for me. It sure cuts into my gym time, but keeping busy is way better than staring at the ceiling and wondering "WHY?"

The correct answer is: "It just doesn't matter." You cannot unring a bell. So just keep moving along. I hope to get some sleep eventually. The fireworks have slowed down a little.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!