I agree w/uR, this is a great list. The one thing missing will come in time...more patience is needed. Your w has been making progress right along and the new year is right around the corner and I do think that there will be good changes comes your way in 2014. Just be patient a little longer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I have some patience left, still curious as heck to see what comes out of the cocoon.
I only want one particular chick atm FY...
So bunch of good food made for the week, W won't have to cook, and neither will I except New year's fun food, and New year's day corned beef and cabbage tradition.
Making that little list earlier really showed me some perspective, and that I am happy and pretty satisfied with my life. W can only add to it now, can't take much away anymore.
But the story isn't done quite yet.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Don't worry, I'm putting FY on groupie control - lol!
You are absolutely right in that you have worked to create a full and happy life for you and your family. A renewed M with your W would enhance what you have already created. You aren't dependent on her anymore for your happiness - what a wonderful gift to yourself and her!
Your story isn't over yet my friend - not even close
PS - keep us posted on that cocoon
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Making that little list earlier really showed me some perspective, and that I am happy and pretty satisfied with my life. W can only add to it now, can't take much away anymore.
But the story isn't done quite yet.
My friend, that is my favorite part. ^^^^. I dont think your story is done either.That is more than just a little list, sweetie. That's some big stuff you accomplished. Dont sell yourself short - as you are want to do at times. Just sayin....;)
So, I am shipping off a super deluxe patience shovel and an antsy control device free of charge. Happy New Year. LOL!
Good things are coming Mr T. I'm so happy for you and where you are in this journey. Keep showing her how awesome you are.
Crank up the music, dance like there is no tomorrow, and bake some cookies.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
I want to thank all the people here who have helped me along the way, both here and the alt.
And those who have helped by posting their journey in the past.
By reading, re-reading and studying the archives, other people's sitches, suggestions for outside reading, etc., they have given me a wisdom I did not have before. So as W has been moving out of the tunnel, the "re-dips" into replay, for example, haven't surprised me (too much), and derailed me (close, but not all the way).
Others have walked a similar path and shown that these things don't necessarily mean the story is over...it might...but might not. But rather what matters is how WE carry ourselves, in the end. To the end, or, beginning.
And we LBS also go through our recycles during this time, cycling back through the "stages" of LBS-ness, of grief. Revisiting. Reapplying. Re-feeling.
So as we roll to a new year, new beginnings are afoot. The process started within back in April with BD#3 (or is it really since the beginning of this in 2009? I can see the path looking back...) has grown me up, pushed me to where I need to be, allowed me to see things clearly. To step back enough to see the forest.
I am finally pretty much the man I want to be...a kind, integrated man. But with my quirks (naturally...), lol. Always more work to do. I am a much better father, friend, co-worker. Not sure about lover though, haven't had the opportunity to test THAT theory!
I am happy, and I learned how to be that during the worst time in my life. Jim Morrison said,
Quote:
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
W's MLC exposed me to my deepest fears, to the reality of my ego, how fragile and self-protective it was. The two most important people in my life abandoned me, the first, through death back when I was 15. The second, through MLC, when I was 46. Doing the work, on myself, has freed me from that baggage, that fear. I am okay. I will be okay, even great, perchance. But I am not afraid, anymore. Life may not be fair, but it is good.
Thank you all, vets, current posters, and all the posters from before who opened up their journey here for others to learn from...
Happy New Year!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
