Chinks in the Armor & still Standing on that Hill

[BrightFuture]

Dragon Heart, sorry to be a downer here, but you touched a nerve about the coaching. I had 3 sessions, the second one was in May and I just had the third one a couple of weeks ago. The first session was pretty much just going over the sitch, gathering the info for the coach. Second session the coach kept asking me what would I need to do to show a different Bright to my H. I had some good points out of that session. The third session was a complete waste of money. The coach asked me the same question, what did I think my H wanted to see in me. I said that I had no clue anymore, since I haven’t seen him since May, I only talked to him on the phone once, and there was mostly just business communication via e-mail. So, I wanted some perspective, but I only got a suggestion to open a Facebook account and post my activities there. Well, I told the coach before that H doesn’t have Facebook, and he is barely on the internet at all. Also, almost none of his close friends have Facebook, so there would be a very slim chance of him learning anything about my activities. I know it would be better than nothing, but at this point I don’t even want to invest any effort and time for a questionable benefit.

As for the DB, I tried different approaches before, not that I had too many changes to do that, since we are almost in no contact. I’ve done a lot of changes on myself. I know that our friends commented on that a few times, and I’m sure they will report this to H. I don’t keep notes about our interactions besides posting here.

I know that you want to help, and I always appreciate any feedback.

Pud, sorry for high jacking your thread. I’m just further along in my sitch, so I have a different prospective. I remember wanting to talk and reason with H. When he came to the city last October (it was about 4 month pos BD), I felt that I just wanted to beg him to stay and work on the M, I was very emotional too. I didn’t do it, but I understand the desire to just make everything normal again. I still have these feelings, especially after his visit yesterday.

You are getting a very good advice here. And the great thing about this site is that the advice will be repeated to you over and over until you get it. You can slip back into your old patterns and somebody will catch it and give you 2x4. I know I need it once in a while, LOL.