Wife Said She's Done - Pt. 2 ..and Still Hopeful

[OneDay]

Why were you doing that?
Have you addressed that? Quitting drinking is only about a 1/4 of the answer.

I have not addressed it with WAS, but I have with myself. I was depressed and Alcohol made me Happy (most of the time)
I was TIRED of the same ol same ol daily routine, nothing ever changed, nothing was ever different. I was tired of my WAS major OCD with household chores/duties. She needed things done a certain why at a certain time EVERYDAY, and she still does. I voiced my feelings/concern about this with her and at counseling, but things stayed the same. I felt trapped, like was never going to have a life again, never get to play again. I asked her a few times. "Do you want to look back on your life and say that you always had a clean/tidy house" or That you really lived and had some fun" I would go over and above to try and accomplish all the things she wanted done before the weekend so we could go play. Even if I did, she would have new chores she wanted to complete. I thought, maybe after the kids were grown I could start playing again and doing more of the things I wanted/use to do. Drinking was my escape from the same ol same ol, the OCD the chores. I would drink, become happy (most of the time) and continue on with the SAME old SAME old everyday routine. Alcohol made it easier to deal with (I guess)

I see some people-pleasing happening, you want to make everyone feel OK. Would you agree?

You mean on this site or at home? I have been an emotional wreck. Im all over the place. One minute I feel great about myself, the next I just want someone to tell me how to make all go away. Im realizing and finding out alot about myself with the help of everyone on this site

Who is the real Scott?

The real Scott loves to Play, laugh, loves to explore, be daring and go on adventures and being with friends. The real Scott (since M) has been none of the above. He he's caring and can be a smart ass, and loves pranks.