Reaching out for support and advice 2

[bluesgal]

Just have to vent a little. First of all, I am really looking forward to celebrating the New Year with friends tonight. I can't wait to eat/drink/relax and be around people that are happy to see me.

That being said, usually when H and I show up to these things and put on our show, he is overly happy and joking. It BOTHERS me!!! Several people have even made comments about it to me.
Our pattern is typically:

H: I'll go tonight, but only for a little bit, I have to work tomorrow. I don't want to stay very long.

Reality: H starts drinking fast and heavily then says things like: screw work, I'll just pop some gum in the morning. And then never wants to leave where we're at. Even at 2 am when he has to wake up at 4am for work....

Life is one big party and one big joke to him. Never mind your childrens' tears or the realtor that stopped over to discuss listing our house and all that real life stuff. I'm screaming LOSER at him on the inside.

I do not take responsibility for his actions. He is just so far removed from the man I loved. I will be curious to see how tonight unfolds after our recent events. Beginners mind, right?