Reaching out for support and advice 2

[labug]

That is the confusing part. H says he has ended the A. Wants to switch areas at work to separate from her.

But, he keeps bringing up his hurt from the past. Anytime we attempt R talk, he retreats and gets angry even though he says he wants to try to work things out. Very typical since bomb- Words and actions do not match. He continues to sleep in the basement. He was very agitated at our counseling appointment yesterday. I told counselor that I am lonely. H has had OW to share with, touch, and be with. I have been alone. My H response is always something like, "Try that for x amount of time." comparing my suffering to his. I really feel like he is punishing me and trying to even the score....except everyone is losing. His walls are built up so high.

I know he says he is willing to try, but to ask him what that looks like creates tension and arguing. I think my only choice is to continue to DB and try to detach.

I don't think we are really ready for rebuilding any time soon. Actually, I feel as though we are farther apart than ever. He at least shared the same bed and occas ML before his affair came out.

I feel like I'm always going back to square 1 with the stakes being higher and the odds being worse.

As others have said you're not back to square one and I agree that he's not ready to really try to rebuild your R.

I also concur, you need to work on you and let him go. You don't have to buy into his unhappiness.

I wrote a long post on my thread this am, spurred by several threads here in NCs.

You CAN do this.