bent not broken

[willbwell]

nero, I am so touched by your post.
You are so right. the fear won't cripple me. I will be able to get up each day and do the work that needs to be done.
forward on...
I know I am very capable. going at it alone was not what I wanted definatley.
It is really much more peaceful around my house right now with h gone. I don't worry about what I'll say , what the kids do-h's reaction...

I remember in the beginning, if h got mad about something(insignificant)I'd be devastated for days. H is type A. I am much more lax. He would always "catch" if I missed a spot in cleaning. Butr, I got to where it didn't bother me...

not that h was a controlling guy. I mean more so what when he would do or say something, It wouldn't destroy me day.

so, I know I am made of tough stuff. My mom too has dementia. She's 87 ( I think) as unpretentious of a person that she is, she had a hang up on age. Funny. Age has never bothered me.but stuff my mom.
so yes, I know I'll be able to get thru. I got a strong family unit backing me too.

having known what poor looks like, tastes like. don't want someone else(OW) getting to spend what should be " my vacation"-Its no more. sure I can still have vaca with my kids.

I do have some steel in me. I am not allowing h to impact me right now. I do know how to laugh. I know goodness
I know I have given it time and patience. I see h. I think he looks sad. I see/hear the script
h too is still paying the bills.
people warn me too he is being nice(generous) for now, that may not always be the case.

my h too was the only boy in his family. his sisters called him the golden child. he grew up very sterile with a mom with depression/self esteem issues. I used to think my h was so different.
I try and show/tell my kids that things will be ok and we have to just do our best.

so thank you nero, for your wise and honest post.ou gave me a lot to consider with the worry thing. MY kids are all at home right now. so I am worry free. that's a gift.