Back to normal today. We missed church this morning as even me and S10 felt like sleeping in on a dreary morning. Normal being W holed up in her room while the rest of us hang out in the LR or game room. She only came out when her brother came over to deliver Christmas presents. We didn't see her dad and she hasn't spoken to him in about 6 weeks. I sat and listened to her talk about her sad for 30 minutes. The two of them are just alike. Moody, hateful and never wrong.
On the positive front, weather cleared off and I got in a 3 mile run. Wonderful for my PMA. I've missed several days due to holiday get together a and bad weather. Good for my head.
I don't know what how the conversation went with W and her BFF was like yesterday. They went out to eat and were gone for over 6 hours. She made comment last night that they sat and talked for a long time. Of course, she left the bed when I turned in and went downstairs to continue texting/messaging. She made it to bed around 3:45 am. She has respected the boundary I set of no texting/messaging beside me in bed. I get to sleep now at least.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Thanks Lost. Setting that boundary was a nightmare. I made it out of frustration and anger, but I could not put up with the idea of her laying beside me and carrying on with OM. Made me wanna go crazy. So now, she stays in the bed all day and when I turn in, she either puts it away it leaves the BR. Either way, I get to sleep. Works for me right now. I know she's going to keep doing it and I can't stop her, but I've gotta sleep.
Today was a decent day. I did run out to the grocery store and pick up a few things. I also picked up W's AD prescription that had run out yesterday. Tomorrow is our 18th anniversary. Not looking forward to it or New Years. I think I'll at least give her a card. Nothing too mushy. I figure a woman who has openly said she doesn't want to be married numerous times probably doesn't want to be reminded about the last 18 years.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Setting that boundary was a nightmare. I made it out of frustration and anger, but I could not put up with the idea of her laying beside me and carrying on with OM. Made me wanna go crazy.
I don't care if that boundary was made in frustration or anger. Some things are worth standing up for, and for me that would be one. Good on you for setting and maintaining that boundary. I'd sooner file than put up with W texting OM in bed next to me. Too damn disrespectful.
So you all are still sleeping together? If so, wow!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Still in the same bed most nights. There have been some nights I haven't gone to bed because I couldn't stand to be near her. There have also been a couple nights I've fallen asleep watching a game in the LR, but that's just being a guy.
18th Anniversary today. I left a card and flowers on her nightstand. What I wrote in the card was less than what I would normally do. I just couldn't let the day go by unnoticed. I expect no acknowledgement and it may possibly bring on more hateful spew over the next couple of days. I just had to be myself in this one.
GAL meant going out for breakfast for myself while everyone else was still in the bed. Getting ready to cook lunch for everyone who wants to eat. Today will be grilled chicken and rice. Also baking cheesecake for dessert (S10's favorite).
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Very nicely done. I suspect you will hear some backlash from that, but I agree - gotta be you!
Did you happen to notice T2's thread recently? He's been at this a while. He made a list and noticed he had a pretty good life and a pretty full one. He has built a life where his W can only add. She can no longer subtract from his life.
Something to think about as you go along
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Been following T2 pretty closely. It's a long, torturous journey. I'm getting there. Working every day to make a life for myself that isn't affected by her actions or lack of. Happiness for myself and my boys is paramount.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Is it that obvious Pud? I stay physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted daily. I love my kids and I'm working my a$$ off for them and making myself better. You just wish there was someone besides the people behind the names on these boards that understood and appreciated what I'm doing. I know we are supposed to do it for ourselves, and we do, but we are all here because we love our spouses and want to avoid losing them.
It's been a rough stretch. Thanksgiving to Christmas to Anniversary to New Years. Not a great set of events for someone whose W "Does not love them," yet is still here in the house and refuses to leave. I'm "on" 24-7 and having to deal with her disrepectful actions and hateful looks all the time.
I love the new me. I really enjoy talking to people and listening in general. I love being very involved in the lives of my sons. I have learned to not be so critical and judgmental. That makes life generally more pleasant.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
It will end, one way or another, but all things end.
And when it does, because you have been through h3ll, you will appreciate "non-h3ll" with a new R (W or new woman), or just being with your new self, in a way you can't fathom atm (and neither can I, though I can picture it just ahead, just a little further ahead, upstream).
Hang in there, take care of YOU as well as the kiddos....
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
