What I really want is this to be over. I don't want another year of my life devoted to this toxic situation. I desperately need peace, but I won't pay xh something he's not entitled to. I've suffered enough.
I don't know how I could ever trust someone again.
It seems that way now, but you'll be surprised. Somebody will come along that's worth taking the risk. When you're ready, they'll be there. Trust me on that
As for the continuous berating and harassment? What? An ex that belittles, berates, harasses his ex and feels like he's getting the short end of the deal? THAT's never happened before!
Look, until the paperwork is complete, he'll be there. Until he finishes his trip, he'll harass you. How does a 2 year old benefit from throwing a tantrum? How does a teen benefit from telling their parents they hate them and wish them gone? <shrug> I dunno. But they do it.
So it is with the MLCr. They will continue to make you the target of their unhappiness until they either resolve it or find another target. The latter is more likely for many.
If it helps, my ex once sent a letter to my atty. My atty let me know she received it but said, "I couldn't read it all. It just wore me out!" I laughed because I understood. My L understood what I had been saying and that I wasn't making it up like many of her clients do. It was actually very helpful to have that. I also have several years worth of harassment. Out of the blue stuff, stuff I instigated (a long time ago), etc. But all of it inappropriate for somebody who left like her a** was on fire and her head was catching 'cause "she never loved me and deserved to be happy". A person who left on Mother's day leaving the kids with me, because it was convenient for her and her schedule.
Why do they do it? What do they get out of it? Who knows? Who cares, really? The better question is how to appropriately handle it so it minimizes the impact on YOU and gets you more quickly to your goal of getting him out of your life as much as possible.
You'll find the way. It's just over that next rise...
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
