I want it over too. Boy, can I relate. Just get over whatever this is and come back to me. About a month ago, I lost myself completely and, if he had given me the chance, I would have begged. Luckily, he didn't give me the chance. He can't or won't hear my pain right now. He's unable to hear it, right now.
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Even if anything I said appeared to change his mind, I know now that it would only be because I 'forced' him to do this and not because he wanted to, so in reality things would not change or be different or be any better than they are now. It would only be temporary and false. I think this is what happened the last time we went through a crisis. He came back but really wasn't happy with his decision.
Yep, and last time, I forced his return too. It was all under my "stipulations." I don't want it that way, this time, either. I enforced drug tests and acted the meeting and therapy Nazi. Not gonna do it that way again. If he wants this, he needs to figure it out on his own.
I don't know that I agree with the last statement about him "not being happy about his decision." How do you know? I'm not sure it's so simple either. Part of him probably was happy, but still couldn't fend off the pain. The way you put it, it sounds like he wasn't happy with you--but, that's not it at all. The pain just surfaced again and he was tired or couldn't fight it like he did last time.
We're getting there Pud. :-) I hope you take it easy some today.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
