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[Ambivalent]

Renting Full Time
If you move but keep your house as a rental property, you stop deducting mortgage interest on the building on the date of your move, and you begin taking rental property deductions and depreciation when tenants move in. The depreciation formula is the asset cost divided by its useful life. The useful life of residential rental property is 27.5 years. If you buy a building for $250,000 and allocate $50,000 to the land cost (land itself is not depreciable), the depreciation is $7,273 every year for 27.5 years. Because of depreciation, it is possible to make an actual profit but show a paper loss for tax purposes. Your rental income in this case is tax-free.

Hmmmmm

[golf mom]

A, my xh won't get anything out of the house in the end. By the time I get credit for paying the mortgage and community debt and he repays the community for debts that are his under the law his equity is eaten up. And that's only if the court values the house later as opposed to when he left. I have good arguments for why the valuation should be done earlier, but I may not prevail. In any event, I'm not worried. The biggest hurdle for me was closing a refi which should be done today. Xh has tried to block it, but in the end realizes that he is deliberately trying to cause me financial harm and could be subject to sanctions.

A, our stories are somewhat similar. My xh just wanted to be rid of the house. I hung on and paid the mortgage believing that the market would turn around and it did. The first attorney I consulted advised me to sell it. I'm so glad I trusted my instincts. It's been a very tough road with lots of sacrifices, but I was able to keep my kids in their home and now have a solid asset.

Keep thinking creatively if you believe that keeping your house is in your best interest. Only you know that.

[Ambivalent]

Golf mom, I'm curious...where did the name come from?

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I spoke with my mother again today, she is so far sticking by me. Tonight, I kept hearing what my H. wrote..." It's easy when things are handed to you..." It hurts to the core.

I'm sure he intended that, and it does. This stage is so painful, I worked so hard and all he sees is that I had to have things, but doesn't remember that I didn't. To this day I know the difference between want and need.

I did want, and I never pushed, demanded, I just supported why I wanted it back then. I wanted my time to be with the girls, to create memories and be able to do things for them.

I didn't sit at home and eat bon bons. I cleaned every other day, and I coached, lead scouts, planned, taught them skills, drove my daughters everywhere. I wanted the best education for them. Every time my oldest went into public school, she shut down. Her psychologist wanted her out, her tutor, who was mastered in L.D., E.D., and G.T. wanted her out.

I am so saddened by the way he is perceiving our past marriage. He doesn't remember any of the times when I was trying to please him. The lingerie, the marriage workbook, the times I tried to surprise him.

It is as if I am now the cause of all the money issues. Is this normal? If he is trying to make me guilty, why? Why wait for thirty years and then run? Does he not remember how I stuck by him through his quitting a job without one in hand?

Does he not remember that I stood by him when he got downsized, we had to sell our house of 15 years? I found us a tiny little cottage, where the rent was so inexpensive that he could try and start his own business? That we actually saved money? Does he not remember that he wanted to rent an executive home like we sold? We would have been paying way more in rent and not have had the money to buy what he now wants to let go?

I don't understand how he blames me for a relationship between my daughter and I? It is our relationship, and I gave everything I had to help her, educate, give her social skills, executive functioning skills, and life skills? I guess it is easier to blame me, than to see she has depression, OCD, socio-emotional immaturity and more.

I feel very uncomfortable with where this is going. Is this a cycling back to the anger side of depression? The I didn't say "no" and now I'm going to punish you for it?

Is he finding his voice and now is going to the extreme opposite . Practicing on me, so he can do it now and in the future? Or is this a form of punishment, making me a monster? I look back and do hear a rebellious teen. He's lashing out . Will he always blame me and have such venom and fury? Or is this him getting it out, venting?

I know he's angry at himself, but it is now being directed at me. What is the point? I need to reread some DR to see if there are any answers3.

Yes, I'm protecting myself, but I was with this man for over 33 years. If he is over me, why such anger, why not apathy? Why anger over my weight loss? If this wasn't so sad, that would almost be funny. Could he subliminally see that it is the stress and separation, the pain? Forty five pounds , if I could have done this before why would he think I wouldn't have?

Does he really believe I lost it to spite him to keep him from having the body I'm in now ? To be frank, my face looked better with weight. Is he angry because he's feeling attracted to me, and he feels he can't have me now? Has he been trying to hook up with other women, and the grass isn't greener so he resents not leaving sooner? I find it interesting that he wrote pleasing himself was more satisfactory than initiating . For when we had sex, he couldn't maintain an erection and he was angry about it.

Was his anger then, a way to cover up his frustration, his embarrassment? I always thought he knew it was normal. Has it happened to him with someone else lately, and the Viagra didn't work? Well I learned my lesson, STFU. I'm glad I never responded back.

I have asked some insurance questions and I'm trying to get some information for the future. Quick questions and a quick thanks.

I'll finish my list tomorrow. Spoke briefly with the attorney, and let her know I planned to retain her. I got the opportunity to spend some time with a friend today. She offered to by me a chai, and I accepted. Very hard to do this.

Spoke with an insurance agent about the fire, and had an antique dealer give me a replacement value. The same for the art that was turned to charcoal. Don't have a receipt for the rug, so hoping an adjuster will have an idea.

I have to think about developing my own credit. Funny, I threw out a card that was trying to hook me in, guess I could of used it. I'd rather not have a credit card, but rather develop it another way.

Didn't get to the gym...tomorrow I must. My youngest wants to come to Swing Dance this Friday night! She really DOES like it. I'm thrilled, and just adored watching her have fun! She's 21 and actually likes being in my company and doing this . Who'd a thunk?



Please God, allow me to save the house and provide for myself and be there for my girls. Keep them safe and allow my husband's pain to dissipate without causing destruction and devastation. Keep him physically healthy and help him to come to a place of peace, to forgive me, and himself. Open his eyes and help him to accept and love himself. Amen

[RockJC]

AB - So sorry to hear what you are going through. Thinking about you and saying a little prayer.

For what it is worth, I walked away from my house and gave it to my W. It was a very difficult thing to do. The truth is that I would have been very house poor if I had kept it. I have no idea how my W is going to make it work. I am sure she will quickly move a man in to help pay expenses.

You don't want to be house poor. It is such an emotional decision that I would highly recommend meeting with an unbiased financial advisor and have them objectively asses if this is something you should really do.

I know it is too early to understand what your true income and D settlement will be. But, please keep this in the back of your mind as you work through this.

[Ambivalent]

It isn't so much the emotional side but practical. It will eventually appreciate, much was invested into it, and I have animals . Renting for me would be money down the drain, without any possibility of future retirement funds. I also would be taxed on the support, the interest would be a write off. Add to that, the ability to earn income from working from home and the location...it makes a lot of sense.

Yes it would be tight, but it is worth it considering the long term goal. I don't really need anything except a vehicle and insurance. So by keeping spending to a minimum, and banking the rest, I may be able to put some money away as well. If I budget tightly, I just may swing it. I have nothing to lose if I can't make it work and much to gain if I can. It is worth giving it a try.

[Ambivalent]

Well guess who's propane just ran out? LOL...I'm using space heaters and waiting to hear back from propane co., but something tells me I'm not going to hear anything anytime soon!

Been doing a lot of research today and I am going to be dealing with some coming stress.

I'm hoping to hear back soon, from the insurance adjuster. I don't think I'll be replacing anything, but the funds may help with either atty. fees or utilities. Hopefully the next couple of months won't be too cold.

This has been an unbelievable year. Really...unbelievable. I guess I'm not in limbo anymore, I know now what not to do, and I'm following the guidelines. I'm not a young thang, but I still have some fight in me.

I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. I'm feeling odd again. No crying today, just anxiety, mixed with a dull lingering ache. I don't know how I feel anymore.

I don't know if it is because I've let go or not. I really don't know what will happen, and I don't know if I will ever get a warm or intimate feeling for this man back. It is a very odd sensation.

I feel a sense of dread, and I fear any confrontation with him. So I'm still connected. I don't have to talk to him, this I know. I know he probably won't come out this way. I feel very very odd. I'm feeling a lack of attraction for him.

Where did it go, why after all the previous months I had it. I feel sadness, and I am losing respect. I don't want to lose respect. It is one of the worst feelings for me to feel for someone I love and loved. I mourn the moments of affection and friendship.

I want to wrap myself in the arms of my daughter. I want to curl up and sleep. I want to just close my eyes and leave this all behind. Sometimes I feel like it is done, over. Other times I feel it isn't, the connection is strong.

I have a sensation of emptiness, a void. At my age, I really don't want to let another in again. I have nothing left to give, and my trust is wiped out. I don't want to ever revisit this place again. I just want to live and love what is left of my dog's lives. I want to give to my children, but another relationship, I really don't want marriage ever again.

It is okay, I had love once and gave it. Good night and I hope everyone has a better year.

Two thousand thirteen, get the heck outta here. BUUUUUUUH BYE !

[job]

Your propane company should have an emergency number that you can call. My sister gets propane and she's on a regular scheduled delivery and doesn't have to call them. You need to find out about that instead of running out all of the time. Some of the nights are going to be cold by the end of the week. There is even talk of some areas getting snow Friday/Friday night. Please be very careful w/those space heaters.

What you posted about your feelings is very normal. You are going to continue having ups and downs for a long time. It's not over until the fat lady sings and she's not been on stage in quite a while. No one knows for sure how things will turn out. All you can do is plan for the worse and hope for the best when dealing w/people in crisis.

I do hope that you have a good evening.

Happy New Year!

[Ambivalent]

Yesterday,

I wrote to all of the in-laws and thanked them for their gifts. I told the one that came on Christmas that I had an added new respect for him. That I wanted him to know how wonderful he is and that Christmas would not be the same without him, he will always be welcome.

I heard back from the youngest brother. He and his wife and dog will be in town on Sunday. They want to see me and the girls. I'm trying to arrange it here.

As I write this in my toasty warm bed, with my wee woofers warming me, I'm able to hear I have a guest up in the attic. It was scurrying around . I know it isn't a mouse by the foot sounds, I even heard it shake, you know like a dog? It has now settled and is probably taking it's New Year nap. Could be a squirrel, opossum , or possibly a young raccoon.

Wrote to H. to let him know I'm out of Propane. I'm afraid to use any money presently, and hoarding every cent I've got.

Going to try and lay low today, and clean. I'll stay warm cleaning, and I can feel accomplished at something.

Gonna try and drag my sorry tail into the gym.

[Ambivalent]

I have invited the oldest brother to join us, and am trying to put together Tuesday eve. I let my oldest daughter know and said I was trying to do a vegan chili, perhaps she'd like to bring the v. cheese and sour cream?

Learning to speak and asking differently. I also asked youngest daughter and if it's a go, I'll have a full house! I see another board game in the future!

I appreciate this coming from the youngest brother. It seems the men in this family are stepping up to the plate! It makes me cry.

Moving on...

[job]

When the "brothers" come, ask one of them to check the attic for you. You don't want that critter to stay up there very long because most of them do like to chew wires.

Sounds like you'll have a full house and maybe the company will do all of you good.

Don't hesitate to ask them to help you when it comes to things around the home. I'm sure they would be more than happy to help if they are given some notice.

Take care and enjoy the time you spend w/your family.