One of my favourite Christmas movies is National Lampoon's Christmas - CLASSIC! There is a scene where mom and daughter are in the kitchen and daughter is complaining about having to give up her room to her grandparents. Mother said (while chain smoking)"Well dear, it's the holidays, we're all miserable!"
So much truth to that in a funny kind of way. Family is wonderful but they are also nosy, pesky and irritating. We love them but sometimes we want to kill them.
That was about my Christmas in a nutshell. And while catching up with everyone, we all had moments like that!
Pud, I wish I knew why the answer to some people is to walk away. I had a discussion with a woman who I really don't know that well tell me that her husband worked hard and was good with their two young children but that she was feeling neglected and was thinking of legally separating. I tried not to be horrified and to give a bit more rational prespective without sounding like I was lecturing. And maybe there is more to it than that, but I could not help be stunned. How hard did she think life would be outside of the family unit?
Bright, thank you for your post. Yes, he wrote that he thinks of me all the time but that has not turned into action. I texted Skippy and thanked him for the card and wished he and his family Merry Christmas. He answered back thanks and a little joke.
The next text I received was at midnight on Christmas Eve (techinically Christmas) with just a Merry Christmas. I replied the same back.
Haven't heard from him since. Not even a call on Christmas Day. First time in well over a decade. And that did bother me. I wasn't really expecting a call, but I guess on some level I was or otherwise I would have been able to brush it off.
I cannot play the crumb game. Little crumbs here and there. I am not a squirrel.
Rock, that question was actually rhetorical. I have already been through the nasty stage with him. It was at that point that I cut off all contact, unless initiated by him and even then I ignored him half the time. He no longer has the option of blaming me because I am not around. I share no parts of his life anymore. Whatever excuses he is still making to justify his actions - no doubt helped along by his therapist - do not concern me.
MizJ - you know I am wishing you the very best, always!
Busting, thank you for that perspective. Things really do change and I wonder sometimes if I dismiss all of his small steps now because they are so small. AFter BD, I wanted everything to be a small step. Until it was pointed out here, I never realized how selfish and manipulative he was being. Now the reverse is true. I look at everything with a jaundiced eye, everything is suspect. I do not trust his words and his actions seem way, way too little, much too late. I have not reached the point where I wish him happy; a part of me still hates him.
I do hope in the coming New Year that everyone will help me to re-balance again. To recognize when he is trying and in that way, I can work toward forgiving. I truly do not know if I want to reconcile (not that there is much of a chance of that); that seems an impossible herculean task right now. That is not my goal. I do not want to dismiss small steps because I am angry. I also do not want to see small steps when there are none.
