re those "feelings" sometimes it's best to air them and sometimes it's not. Thing is to monitor the results...if you feel better because you've vented but it doesn't serve to bring you and h closer well then you've got to find a way that you CAN vent and work through your feelings and still get closer to h. If it is working, well then thank him for allowing you to express yourself and continue to monitor and modify as needed.
I continued to see my individual c for a while after h came home and in the begining it was benificial (though I don't think I could have just started up with someone at that point as there'd be way to much catch up to do to get them to understand where I was in the whole ugly process) but eventually it became almost threatening to h as he somehow percieved it as my still being negative about things. I didn't stop going for his sake but for the sake of our m as it was becoming unproductive for me as well...much like venting on the bb can.
I feel like I'm rambling on here but there's obviously a lot to say on the topic.
Just keep in mind that it's a process...you are dealing with your feelings, h is dealing with his feelings, you're each dealing with the feelings of the other and how your own feelings are/ or may be effecting the other etc etc.
Speaking with someone (be it a c, a pastor, an understanding friend, the bb etc) can be helpful but eventually it does have to come down to just you and h.
