Quote: There is always hope for those will to believe and wait
Well, I tried to hang on as long as I could! But, I ASSume my M life is coming to a close! My H has to make a decision about us, the two att are pushing both of us. I have made mine, but it doesn't stop my att from pushing buttons. Now if it hasn't happened already my H will have to decide if he really wants a D. I wish I could of put this off longer, but I now don't have a choice.
The ax could be falling soon, unless my H decides to let the withdrawal go through. I'm looking at the depressing part in this. Because a month ago my H told me he wanted the D. I'm sure he has not changed his mind.
I'm glad your H did a 180 and came back to you! This is the hope we all hold on to.
Keep feeding us your little stories, it is the glue that binds!
Hi All..things are going great...I have a so much to be thankful for..I am still so unsure at times..my feelings don't change about what we are doing..I know it is the right thing..but my emotions are creeping in and playing games..like is it for real..will h decide tomorrow he does not want this...just dumb things..the work does not end if you piece the m back..it all begins again..but different.
Patience is the key..along with forgiveness..and of course taking care of ourselves...do what your gut and heart truly tell you...
When the turnaround took me by surprise, I too, had all those "dumb" things that go thru my head. Its kinda of a ironic twist of roles where now you are the one on guard as to if these changes are for real and will they last. Give it time Sue, and you'll begin to see that they are!!
Don't be such a stranger. Would like to hear about those greate positives.
KAW..so great to hear from you..I miss all the great "talks"..you have played a major part of where I am today...you have always been able to explain something in a way that really helped me to see something in a different light. How are things with you and CAW? I am hoping since I don't see your thread, that they are ok or even better?Would I be too bold to give you my e-mail so we could chat more? I surely understand if you are not ok with that..I met someone here awhile back and finally gave my email out and then phone number and we are best of friends...like we were meant to know each other.
Things are going great..infact I am at h apt, and he is sitting right here as I type..does not aske what I am doing, and I don't intend to share this with him..we continue to talk..the insecure feelings come up when I am with him..and I told him I need to talk them out each time..I wonder if counseling would be a benifet to me right now..any thoughts from anyone..guess though with h with out job, that the $ really is not there..I could talk to pastor..mostly I need to vent my feelings and then decide how I want to deal with them.
re those "feelings" sometimes it's best to air them and sometimes it's not. Thing is to monitor the results...if you feel better because you've vented but it doesn't serve to bring you and h closer well then you've got to find a way that you CAN vent and work through your feelings and still get closer to h. If it is working, well then thank him for allowing you to express yourself and continue to monitor and modify as needed.
I continued to see my individual c for a while after h came home and in the begining it was benificial (though I don't think I could have just started up with someone at that point as there'd be way to much catch up to do to get them to understand where I was in the whole ugly process) but eventually it became almost threatening to h as he somehow percieved it as my still being negative about things. I didn't stop going for his sake but for the sake of our m as it was becoming unproductive for me as well...much like venting on the bb can.
I feel like I'm rambling on here but there's obviously a lot to say on the topic.
Just keep in mind that it's a process...you are dealing with your feelings, h is dealing with his feelings, you're each dealing with the feelings of the other and how your own feelings are/ or may be effecting the other etc etc.
Speaking with someone (be it a c, a pastor, an understanding friend, the bb etc) can be helpful but eventually it does have to come down to just you and h.
Thanks for stopping by, LL..how have you been? Do you still have an active thread?(I don't get here as much as I should).
Weekend was good..h fixed supper SAt. night..did dishes(of course it is his place!)I asked if he wanted me to do the laundry..he has clothes all over b-room floor..ugh..drives me nuts..he told me where the laundry soap and quarters were..I decided that he can do it himself...he just laughed. His apt. is messy, and while I am no clean freak, he sure could care less about cleaning..I have to let it go..
have a wonderful week..
Sue
p.s. I decided to go back to bowling with h on Tues...he seemed to enjoy me being there, and that is also our midweek time together, so I am ok with "her"..she acts kinda nasty to me, but oh well, she is the one with a problem..I will not go out of my way to be chatty with her, I won't be rude either.
Quote: p.s. I decided to go back to bowling with h on Tues...he seemed to enjoy me being there, and that is also our midweek time together, so I am ok with "her"..she acts kinda nasty to me, but oh well, she is the one with a problem..I will not go out of my way to be chatty with her, I won't be rude either.
I bet she's a wreck when you do show up there with your H. It probably adds a little excitement to everyone's lives that are aware of the sitch. We all know how people love to have something gossip about. Sad, I know, but you are the bigger person!!
Hoping, you are so strong to be able to be around OW!! my GF has a very close Man friend whom I know really likes her and I cant stand to be around him. I tried hard but my emotions got the best of me last weekend and I hope someday I can be able to deal with him being around and just make him nuts as I get closer to her and he see's his chances disapearing. You are so strong and I wish I could share some of that! Good luck!
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
GREAT job on returning to the bowling on Tues nights. I totally agree with Cathy, in that you are the bigger person. It also says alot about H that he wants you there! Keep going, stay strong, and continue in a forward direction.
I love hearing about the process you are in on repairing the M. It's so encouraging! LOL
Mooka
P.S. Thanks so much for your continued support on my sitch....and thanks for the extra prayers.....they really helped this past week-end. The kids are handling it all faily well, considering
Glad to hear you've decided to continue attending bowling with h...I know most people cringe at the thought but I so wish I had such an opportunity to rub it in ow's face (yes occassionally I do act my age! )
You sound wonderful!!! I am so happy for you and your h.
As far as me? I don't really keep up with a thread anymore but there is a current one still floating around. About all I can say is life is pretty normal round here. I still have the occassional feelings of what,why,when,how,what if etc but they pass pretty quickly. Have had a bit of down feeling lately as I'm working on a pic collage for a hallway and looking through pics is leaving me thinking sheesh...but h is very supportive, appologetic and as recently as yesterday said "I had my head up my a$$ and was stupid"
It's not an easy road but sometimes the more complicated we try to make it the harder it can be.
We all know how people love to have something gossip about. Sad, I know, but you are the bigger person!!
GREAT job on returning to the bowling on Tues nights. I totally agree with Cathy, in that you are the bigger person. It also says alot about H that he wants you there! Keep going, stay strong, and continue in a forward direction. 