I don't know how to act when people feel everything is happening because of me, and I don't feel I have done anything to deserve this kind of treatment. Yes I am feeling sorry for myself. I need to do a lot of contemplating today and remember to love myself. Choose Joy, today is a new day.
Hi Pud, You've been through quite a lot recently, I hope you are feeling better today.
The way to act right now is to let H know you hear him. I'm afraid some of your comments are doing the opposite. You can't tell him he's not done, or anything about his feelings or how he handles his them. Those are his.
You're trying to jump to "fixit" mode. Now's not the time for that.
Just let him know you understand how much pain he is in, and that you're there if he needs you. Then back off and give him space. Allow him to come to you when he is ready. Yes, it's going to be tough in the same house, but you can do it.
There's a reason DB says to avoid R talks. He's "done", remember? You trying to convince him otherwise only strengthens his resolve. Let him go.
I think it is good that you told him you expect to be treated respectfully. Don't be afraid to hold him to this, whatever it takes. You deserve nothing less.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
