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[Ambivalent]

Thanks Gabby,

Right now I'm doing this in the short term to hoard . My options, being that I have five wee one's depending on me, without any credit is zero to none!

I'm a fighter and if I get a minimum of 4k a month, I CAN do it. The only true obstacle is whether I can take over the mortgage.

Presently , my goal is to develop my own credit. I need to get a job, when my attorney says "go for it". My mother , has excellent credit and is in my corner. My dad, may or may not continue to assist financially, but he is an attorney and has the mind to bounce off of.

Sacrificing in the beginning for a long term goal, YES, it is worth it. My area tends to bounce back, not as fast as the adjoining county, but it does eventually. I can reassess in three years, and again in five.

Two of my long term dogs are geriatric. One is thirteen, the other will be soon. After that I'm down to three. It will be a heart breaking time, for these little men have been part of our family during my daughter's childhoods.

I was advised the courts would not force me to give up these dogs and that would be a consideration in the support as well.

I'm not going to assume anything, but my mom went through a divorce from my father, she may be 84, but she doesn't want the house thrown away either.

I will have some tough years, but other than a house, utilities , transportation, and some food. I don't NEED anything. My youngest daughter doesn't want to see the house go either. If it will appreciate, then everyone wins.

Once I get licensed, and acquire full time employment, then the other possible options of income may be discarded. A boarder or roomie may even be something that will help me mentally at this time too!

I'm trying to focus on my current goals and get ready for some ugly battles. If it turns out that it isn't then lucky me. I know he wants out of the house, and yes marriage. So if I don't stir the pot, and allow his emotions to suck me in, I believe I can do it.

Support is needed from you all, my daughter , my parents, and I'm very careful about who I've shared this with.

I am off my regular facebook account for now, it isn't a place for someone who is going through this. We also have family and mutual friends. I won't go there.

I will continue to DR, regardless of my last lapse. I'm going to look at it as cathartic and also for him. He has anger still, so that is good and bad. Good that he's letting it out, bad that he hasn't let go of it yet.

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I'm so happy that I've learned more about passive aggression. It will help me understand behaviors better.

On to attaining the goals for today:

Secure attorney

File immediately

Save the house

Call insurance agent

In that order.

Next:

Get back into the gym

STUDY twice a day

Work on one room at a time in the house

Make chicken soup

Find a way to celebrate the New Year.
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Thank you all for everything. I would probably be dead by now if it were not for this board and the support. My ribs are healing, my mouth ulcers are too. I have aged these past months, but I'm in the right business for that , right?

I have dropped another few pounds over the last week. Not the healthy way, but I will turn it into an advantage. I'm getting myself to the gym, and make sure I get some protein in me to build some muscle.

I really wish I could meet you guys, for I would love to give you all hugs. And I'm not really a touchy feely person, a mush, but not so much the other. Perhaps one day, when the sun is shining strong, I will.

((((<3))))'s