Affair symptoms will subside in 2-3 months assuming she doesn't start another one to keep the rush going.

You need to *slow down*. Your comment that things will change hourly was very troubling, because you cannot let the situation be that dynamic.

Tell your W that you have plans for NYE and stick with them. Slow down.

She needs to go through the stages of grief and loss to get over OM before she gets a clear head and decides what she wants to do. As Sandi so rightly points out, if you let her come back immediately and take it upon yourself to "fix" everything, you'll be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your M.

People value that which they have to work for, and do not value that which is freely given. If she wants to come back, make her pursue your first, she will value you more for it.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015