bent not broken

[willbwell]

I'm reading. I'm taking notes.

what I am learning.

I put too much emphasis on h.
he has been top in my life. God should be top in my life.
I do pray. I have learned to shift my focus to God.

I need to create my own new life. I am doing this by going to school, continuing to be a great mom, friend, sister, person.

I recognize what I am fearful of( This is where I need help in learning to overcome)

I am fearful of all the crap that D will bring. D is not good and there is bound to be more hurt up ahead for me.

I so hate wasting time and money. Already so much money has been spent. . I grew up poor and sorry but it is just such a waste. Money isn't as big of issue to h. He doesn't think twice about spending it. While married, while life was good. I didn't think twice about it either.

This is a fear. I will now have to worry. Worrying solves nothing. I know.
Others have it much worse. I know.

Time. I will have to deal with the mess of divorce. No way of getting around it. Its not how I want to spend my time but what do I have here?

I get to choose to spend it with an open heart?
My fear is my underlying bitterness.

Let it go. So easier said than done.
No, I don't want to be stuck and I have just got to push through.

who knows, maybe I will feel better when it is all done!