WR, I know that your SIL's comments hit below the belt, but you need to consider the source. Family listens to what he says and, of course, they are only hearing one side of the story and they will take the side of their brother no matter what. As for being homeless, I honestly don't buy into that BS. Your h made choices all by his lonesome. He could have returned home at any given time, but no, he stayed out on the street. So, please put those remarks she made in the trash. She doesn't know what she's talking about.
Trying to defend yourself to her is like trying to defend yourself to the mlcer. Both of you are emotional and neither of you will get very far into a discussion w/o saying things that can't be taken back. One day, WR, you will be given the opportunity to set her straight, but now is not the time. You are still trying to get things settled w/the house, etc. For all we know, her email/text was to rock your world to make you do something stupid w/the finances and the home refinancing. Don't step into her bait trap.
Again, I do recommend leaving the woman right where she's at and if she wants to stew, accuse, etc. just let her spew, but you block her from contacting you again. Silence is golden and sometimes it speaks volumes far better than trying to communicate w/someone who is spewing. Walk away, everyone knows what you've been dealing w/and continue to deal with.
Show that family you are a far better person by remaining silent and walking away than one who wants to get into heated discussions w/them. I know you can do this.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
