So you wanna play with magic Boy, you should know what you're falling for Baby do you dare to do this Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse Are you ready for, ready for A perfect storm, perfect storm Cause once you’re mine, once you’re mine There’s no going back -Katy Perry
My post afternoon of December 29th......... HOLY $HIT.......just got this from SIL #1
"so I hear you don't care my brother is homeless and broke ......well that is absolutely disgusting behaviour. I am sad to think that you are that type of person. Your marriage had it's problems and they were not going to change so instead of accepting it you are acting like a victim. Ridiculous you are to blame for half of your problems.....grow up no matter how often you ask for forgiveness from your church it won't make what your doing right doing right. Karmas a bitch!"
not my spelling errors btw.
I'm in tears......after EVERYTHING I have done for them. Especially SIL #1.....they've known me for twenty years! 20!!!!! what is he saying to them!?!?! NOW?!?!? HE LEFT US IN APRIL and never a word until now? this? how do I respond? I'm so upset _________________________ M 16 T 20 M 40 H 38 S 19 S 14 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Job........ WR, You don't respond. File the text away and just remember...blood is thicker than water. You don't owe them any explanation and one day, they'll figure out what is what.
Your h is been talking trash to them and he wants to play the victim. There's nothing you can do about it. No matter what you say to her, she's going to continue to defend her brother and make you out to be the villain here, so the best thing to do is ignore her and her comments. Consider the source, cry and/or yell, but do not respond to her. You don't owe her an explanation as to what you have had to do to take care of you and your sons.
Can you block her on your phone as well as emails and FB? Do so. Don't give her a second thought.
Continue moving forward and do not allow her to bring you down. Don't allow her or anyone else to bully you.
DO NOT RESPOND!
My response to Job.......
I won't respond Job......but, I'm really hurt. Upset beyond belief AGAIN! homeless? he's homeless? what does that even mean? why is it my fault?!?!? HE HAS A HOME!!!! He doesn't want it! Last time I actually knew where he lived was May after that I have no idea where he sleeps! Problems in marriage were not going to change? HOW DO YOU KNOW what our problems are and if they could be worked on!?!? I'm to blame for half my problems? I've accepted my faults and have worked(ing) to correct them but MY HUSBAND'S MLC is NOT my fault!!! I accept none of it! Karma's a bitch, eh? I guess it is!
I've been working night and day to keep my kids in their home and food on the table! literally night and day! where has HE been?!??! WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN?!?! OH I'm so upset.....crying and angry and want to just hit them all! _________________________ M 16 T 20 M 40 H 38 S 19 S 14 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Originally Posted By: ForeverYoung
Wow WR, that must be awfully painful. I'm so sorry you had to get that crap from SIL. You know you don't deserve it, WE know you don't deserve it.
Hold steady on the high road.
I agree with job: Eventually EVERYONE will figure out what your roll really was in all this... and you'll still be looking like the rose that you are!
Thank you FY. I know I need patience and the truth will come out, it always does, but WOW what a sucker punch to the gut. I hope my silence speaks volumes to her nastiness
Originally Posted By: NLW
WR, that is really hard to take.
I think mlc-ers have an easy path to get family onside.
No-one would ever believe the truth of what has happened, so the re-write of history that forms part of the script is what gets accepted.
It must be that their spouse was controlling, disgusting, unable to be lived with one moment longer, even for the sake of the kids. Whatever else could have led to an outwardly happy family being broken up so quickly and with such finality?
And the poor mlc-er, how he has suffered and for so long. And what he has been reduced to - he has no home, no money, has given up everything....
Again, who, outside of experiencing it themselves, would ever believe what has really happened?
Having said that, IDK if I could cope with not responding - briefly and calmly.
I have, in the past, ignored such outbursts from others who I feel have the 'wrong end of the stick'. I find it festers and makes me feel resentful.
I am also feel sick of 'covering up' the whole notion of mlc.
If only we could say "my spouse is suffering from a classic mlc. I suggest you do some quick reading on the topic and find out how devastating this emotional turmoil/identity crisis can be to those around them before you judge me."
Originally Posted By: ForeverYoung
I get what you're saying, NLW, and kinda sorta agree. But here's the thing: Like job posted, H's family will always side with him. Especially after all the BS he has likely fed them. So even the most rational response from WR will be rejected and only escalate things into an ongoing and even uglier battle.
Why sign up for that? Better to just shut up and work on finding inner peace.
I completely hear what you're saying NLW, and if we were dealing with rational people that would be a plausible thought BUT H's family is equally as looney tunes as him!! They will take his side for the sole reason as they believe that blindly taking the side of blood means they love them. It's not even a thought that blind love does not equal true love. When this started I did have long conversations with SIL #2 about H's MLC. Sent her links of info that I had found (her response....it scared her as it sounded like her DING DING DING and that she could see how H was in a MLC. I think SIL #2 wavers between believing and not believing and feeling sorry for her brother. SIL #1 (the text one) SIL #3 and MIL all live in a rampant world of denial about their own existence and I think it gives them great satisfaction to see MY life as miserable as theirs and me as culpable for all of it......NEVER EVER has a situation in their life ever been a direct response to one of their own actions. H must be hurting pretty badly right now. He's run out of options and has no moves left.....I'm the one holding the cards but, really, he has called all the shots. I've never once made a move....only counter moves that, it would appear, have thrown H's plans for a loop. Maybe H should have stayed, for free, with SIL #2 until this was figured out? Maybe H should not have up and left without a plan of action? Maybe H should have not counted on money from the house BEFORE he got the money from the house? MAYBE when I said I wouldn't help him destroy us he should not have heard that it would be ok to screw me (and our boys) to a wall......I'm sorry to say that after 20 years H still does not understand his wife. It's almost like he's never met me. I will do what I need to do to protect our children. My sister said it very well "If she (SIL #1) believes in Karma, then she needs to assess her life and ask wtf she has done.....karma is simply living the consequences of your choices.....H is just living his-she doesn't understand the concept. In fact they are all so simple- minded, their opinions and comments mean about as much as those of mushrooms....born out of the $hit and darkness
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
