Reaching out for support and advice!!

[bluesgal]

Oh gosh, thanks everyone. I feel like a teenage drama disaster! We've never been the people/family to have issues like these. I feel like I'm being drug down by bottom feeders.

How can this be happening??!!

Labug, yes, you've reminded me before that I can move on without a D. You always seem to bring me back down from crazyville. I seriously feel like I'm in a nuthouse right now with my H as star of the show. I'm the second act.
Can you describe to me what it looks like to move on without D? I know this is such a beginner question, but this my sitch has changed and I'm in unchartered territory. How do I disapprove of his A, while he states with only empty words he'd like to try to work on things, knowing that he will likely continue the A? Do I just deal with it? Stay in our home and laugh/cook supper/go to holidays like everything is fine and I'm all 180ing while he's lying? I don't know how to do that. My DBing so far has taken place without knowing there was an PA, then once found out, his half hearted statements that he'll end it. Actually, she ended it the first time. So I've never moved forward to save my M knowing that the A is there.
I realize when I think things through, that D will create an immense amount of pain in ways I'm not even aware of.

My heart absolutely aches for my kids. I cannot believe how much this has taken a toll on all of us. My H swears he is done with the A. But, we all know what his word means. I'm NOT ok with an A!

Julie, I understand what you are saying. In fact, your wording sounds perfect. The only problem is that my H lies about his A. So, setting even vague boundaries falls on deaf ears because he lies and I have almost no way of 'catching' him. They stopped all communication on his phone. I assume they do all their talking/dating during and after work. I don't want to be with someone who values me so little!

Darn it! It was just such a short time ago when I felt confident of my DB ways! I was growing and loving my changes. I was just knocked on my butt once again. Sooo not detached. Hope you guys can help me through this..I appreciate all the words of encouragement.