Good day Sue and boy did your thread cover a lot of ground over the weekend. So if you would induldge me in making comments a few comments to some posts a while back...

Yes, it does happen that they can turn around that quick and when you least expect it. I'm sure you have read it before, but I don't typing it again, that I had a gut feeling I was going to be served papers in a week's timeframe so made an appointment with a lawyer ... only to come home from the consultation to CAW wanting to work things out. She gave me some insight as to why the sudden turn. The way she put it. She noticed the "new" me, but tried to first ignore "it", then resist "it", tried to convince herself "it" was real, but then she got tired of fighting it. Then she was willing to explore more about the "new" me. After awhile she decided it was worth a try, because she became convinced that I would handle "things" differently.

When CAW first opened up about her A, she wanted to offer more details than I had wanted to hear, and I, too, felt at odds because I was expecting to feel this furious anger for what she did, but it never came to be. When I studied it in further depth, I kept coming back to one point. That I had helped pushed her there ... that if I only made some change then, she would had felt such dispair that led her astray. I found myself blaming more what happened than her, so how could I be angry with her. Also, when I mentioned I didn't want hear all the nitty-gritty, I worded it as "... the less I know ... the better." Well, she took it as she didn't need to say anymore about it, kinda closing the door on that chapter and felt we should move on from there. So while talking to H carefully select your words so you may get what you need and leave the door open for a little while longer until you feel you have processed all the info you need to move on.

I also think you are benefiting from all the work you have done on yourself over the last 1� years. You have posted how you wonder if it was a PA ... thought about how it would affect you if he had ... and I believe had already reach the point where you had already forgiven H. So IOW, you did all your hard work up front to kinda cushion the blow when it finally came out in the open.

Well lookie there ... lunch is already over ... gotta go for now ...

'til later,
KAW