let me say up front i'm a very bad question asker- i feel like it's prying and i just letpeople just talk away when they're venting or needing to "get it out" -
i think about four or fivve years ago she just noticed h was "cold" and not really participating. she kept saying he didn't even ask about her day when she got home from work - and she could feel the disconnect and thought she didn't want to spend her life like this. i think she scratched hr head and wondered for a year (maybe - not even that long i believe) and then discovered or asked and found out that he was "seeing " someone from his health club. i think she just gfound out and said, right then, i'm outta here or you get out of here.
i think it was her decision and he didn't argue. i don't think she mentioned "trying" or standing or anything like that. i don't think it ever occurred to her to do anything other than what would happen in a movie. she decided it was over and bought him out of their house - and proceeded to go it alone. i know she was distraught. \ but shes not a whiner or a "folder" , so she just went right on being single and tryng to get out there like mad. once last year when i was saying what the heck we all were trying to do with db - she said perhaps she was too hasty to chuckit all. as mwd said - if you do the big ultimatum - they'll leave.
it's sad - it's even sadder to think she has doubts now . who can know if it would have been any different in the end? i pointed that out. i'd hate to promote her notion that she rushed into things . she reacted like her- that's all i guess.
is that what you mean by "terms"?? i think she was the higher earner and had a house at first that he moved into - and after a couple years they got a bigger one- idk how it all split up. she'd waited along time to find him to begin with. i'm soooooooo undemanding and "flexible" - even as i write this- for me, the whole thing of trying to db - having hope - or even being necessary to make sooooooo darn sure that i've tried and tried, so i never ever eeeeever have doubts about having rushed into something not in my best interests.
i think since i'm not doing one darn thing better - i can stand a bit more- and see. seems after this much time, i've got too much invested to get short fusednow.
is it nice or sick? who can say- in it for the long haul????
i have the reverse neurosis of hers. i'm playin the long game i think- (hopefully not til i die that is- ) oh well- i'l l be saying this in ten years, "any day now i'm gonna be thru". (that is of course , unless sprince charming trots up on his charger and sweeps me off my doddering old feet or i die on the vine.
tra la- i don't even know what i wish for- how's that for "done" trying to figure it out- worry about it , or anticipate the end result.....
