Finding nuggets of gold on this Great Big Hill

[Pudmuddle]

Hi all, thanks for the kind words. Some days feel better than others, I'm trying to take things in stride, but it is still very difficult for me.

Like today, I slept like a log last night and had some funky dreams. They were mostly about my H and him telling me things that I didn't want to hear. I can't remember them now, thank goodness, but those types of dreams always affect me for the rest of the day so the mood is a bit down today.

uR, you are not nitpicking at all. In fact, you always pick up on the very things that I question myself on too. I think I kept asking him about the movie because it was so out of character for him to not want to do that. I still have a hard time with seeing the things with him that are out of character, because for most of the time he seems so 'normal'. I have to keep reminding myself he is not in a good way right now, at least one that I can understand, even he does appear normal.

I need to remind myself to let him be heard and show him I hear him. I guess that means to let things go, that I seem to want to push. I don't want this depressed man.

[Pudmuddle]

Hi all, thanks for the kind words. Some days feel better than others, I'm trying to take things in stride, but it is still very difficult for me.

Like today, I slept like a log last night and had some funky dreams. They were mostly about my H and him telling me things that I didn't want to hear. I can't remember them now, thank goodness, but those types of dreams always affect me for the rest of the day so the mood is a bit down today.

uR, you are not nitpicking at all. In fact, you always pick up on the very things that I question myself on too. I think I kept asking him about the movie because it was so out of character for him to not want to do that. I still have a hard time with seeing the things with him that are out of character, because for most of the time he seems so 'normal'. I have to keep reminding myself he is not in a good way right now, at least one that I can understand, even he does appear normal.

I need to remind myself to let him be heard and show him I hear him. I guess that means to let things go, that I seem to want to push. I don't want this depressed man.

[Pudmuddle]

Ok, why are my posts posting twice. It looks like they don't submit, and then they submit twice, weird. I've notified the moderators but bear with me people!

[MrCAS]

I need to remind myself to let him be heard and show him I hear him. I guess that means to let things go, that I seem to want to push. I don't want this depressed man.

Yes. You need to listen more often. You are going to hear things you need to hear. You are going to hear things that you would rather not hear, too.

Be strong.

[Pudmuddle]

So I was getting ready to leave the house and H asked if I was going somewhere. I said Yeah I have some things I need to do. He said Oh when will you be back? I said I don't know. He then said Well I will be gone later. I said Yeah I expected that, have fun. He then said Well S and I are going to an Avalanche game on Tuesday. I said Great! and walked out the door. Honestly I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I didn't want to hear his shi!t.

If he is taking OW Tuesday night and introducing our S I will be very upset. This is what he tried to do before when he was with previous OW years ago. I am thinking of packing all his clothes in suitcases and saying don't bother coming back while he is out. I know, I know, don't be upset by his actions but I am still working on that and at least I didn't show it to him this time. I don't want him to come back if he cannot treat me with respect and treat our marriage like a marriage. This man needs to move out! Thoughts?

[MrCAS]

How about waiting until he actually does did? You are looking into that crystal ball looking for something that has not happened yet.

If he does do that? Then by all means... Tell him that this was unacceptable.

[Pudmuddle]

Yeah I know MrC.

I sincerely want to pack his clothes tonight and leave them on the porch for a warning of sorts. SIGH. This stuff svcks rocks.

[2Times2Many]

Hi Pud,

I must have missed something. Why do you think he might be taking ow to game with S?

If it turns out that he does, then you have every right to be upset with him. But, I would hold off on the negativity until/if that actually happens.

2T2M

[Pudmuddle]

Just because years ago, 2t when he had his last affair, he was going to introduce S to OW at an Avs game. Kind of a flashback fear, of sorts.

[TryingToDo180]

Hi Pud
I agree with mr cas here It was one of the things I got taught in IC and that was fortune telling meaning "what if this happened?" and "what if that happens?". I know how you must be feeling though and it's not nice It's almost like a panic attack everytime he goes out. I remember that feeling well when my H was still living here.
I can't remember if I've read this on your sitch or not, but have you ever given him an ultimatum? Has he got somewhere to go if he does get chucked out? This stopped my H from moving out sooner, but it didn't stop the MLC going full steam ahead. Although it was upsetting when he did finally move out, I'm at peace now without him