Wife Said She's Done - Pt. 2 ..and Still Hopeful

[OneDay]

Labug, I was doing exactly as you thought. I had the tit-for-tat mentality. Heck I was actually thinking of telling her that I was going fishing first thing New Year's Day morning (So There). Then I read your response and knew you were right on the money. Come to think of it I've had that mentality my entire life but just now realized what a problem it could present. (I also realized my mother has the same mentality)

Here's my personal dilemma as to what to do about GAL. While I see the importance of it I'm not sure how much it will help my situation. Let me explain again as I might have left some of this out. Leading up to BD was a lot to do with my drinking(and dipping) but in her mind it was deeper than that. She took it as im doing what ever the hell I want to do when I want to do it and that it didn't matter what any one else said. She said or thought I was going to do whatever the heck I felt like doing and that I've always been this way, it's just who you are she said. Even though that wasn't the case in my mind, she thought it and felt it was for a long time. My fear is that by doing these things she will still have the mentality well he stoped drinking and dipping but he still doing whatever the hell he wants whenever he wants to do it. I am still open for any and all suggestions on this topic.

After a long day of working out and having some time to myself yesterday I had the chance to do some serious soul searching. I thought a lot about what everyone has been suggesting and a lot about how where my relationship has been going the past several years. The one thing I honestly found out is that I can see and truly feel that she is DONE. It's hard to explain but it does feel as though a weight has been lifted. I am trying to be strong for myself and my boys.

Also wanted to clear the air by saying she is not out for blood in this D as I posted earlier. I spoke too soon and was using the tit-for-tat mentality. She is truly a kind and caring woman. She loves both her boys family and dogs very much. Even though we have our differences I can honestly say that she is probably the nicest most caring woman I have ever known. She will continually go out of her way to even help stranger.

I know she wants this divorce. I know it may happen and I feel I'm in a better place now by accepting that fact. I'm not in a perfect place and yes it's still very hard but I have accepted that she is done.

I have been trying to be more humble to be more open to be more patient, kind fair and caring I'm going to continue to work on these things not only for myself but for all relationships going forward.

I still hope it's not too late and from the bottom of my heart I thank each and everyone of you for the help and advice you have given me this far