Reaching out for support and advice!!

[bluesgal]

I opened my own checking/savings accounts. I have a realtor coming over tomorrow to give a value of my home. I have an appt for a consult with a L in a week. I am protecting myself and getting ready to walk if this becomes a continued disaster.

I've been flip flopping in my head and actions from DB tactics to zero tolerance for this behavior anymore. I can have a boundary of no OW, but that just fuels the fire of the A and creates more resentment of me. He doesn't respect or honor it anyway. He continues to lie and lie and lie.

Laying in bed at night and knowing he is with OW is becoming too much for me. Especially after the most recent comment "I barely care about you". Ouch.

I am not picking myself up right now. I am sick with a bad cold and tired. I have a H that says he has ended his A and is willing to try. Those words have no emotion behind them. They are not real and are destined to fail.

I'm thinking about setting a timeline for my sanity. Give this sitch 'X' amount of time to show improvement or move on with my life.

Things are just always getting worse instead of better. Our relationship has nothing left to build on because he has robbed it of all good. He is angry, resentful, hostile, and negative. I am tiring.