A twist on cake-eating & dropping a bomb of my own

[LoisB]

I was in such a good place ... don't quite know what happened. Maybe the holidays?? Maybe indulging in a little self pity party? Or maybe the big move with the operation over there which will allow greater production. I'm not sure how I feel about the progress. Each success will lead h to want to expand more and that will lead to more time away from home. It's like there is no end in sight and I think that is what has me down. I don't feel like I am competing with an OW as much as this stupid operation ... I don't know how to deal with that. It's like that operation is the real mistress.

T,

I hear you expecting a lot from yourself and your H.

I don't think this journey is a concrete move from Point A to Point B--there's lots of give and back and forth on this ride. You go from Point A to Point B, then back to A, maybe to C, Back to B, then upside down and backwards all at ONCE!!

You have made progress, but it's not necessarily the kind of progress where you check something off the list and never look back???

I like the suggestion about coming up with a new tradition for New Years. I think I may borrow that one. My H and I never really celebrated New Year's--maybe it's time I start?? But, in my own way.

One of the hardest things, for me, throughout this process--is knowing when I legitimately need to feel some rough patch before moving forward and knowing when I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Only you can answer which this is.

You have had some real gifts from your H lately. Don't discount them because they are wrapped the way you want. Maybe accept them for what they are and let go of the expectations?? Or, maybe this is your stronger self saying, "I need more. This isn't enough for me?"

Maybe this is where you clarify what your expectations are for this relationship today and take a look at how long you are willing to wait.

I know I reached this point in July where it became obvious to me that H wasn't able to give me and the girls what I needed at that point. I broke away. On the one hand, I'm glad because I think I needed to recognize what I deserved in a relationship. On the other hand, I may have acted too impulsively outta hurt and unmet expectations.

God's speed as you sort through it all.

Heather