I am happy for you and your h that he has finally been able to "come clean" about his r with ow.
I did speak to my h last night and again and though he admits to being stupid and in a bad place and making poor decisions he is still adamant about it never being a pa of any kind at all.
follow the gut? though I never knew the ow only knew of her as a customer of h's my gut always told me she was no good. my gut about my h's r with her ever being a pa? dunno guess I've got twisted guts...or maybe my gut tells me no it wasn't a pa and my mind is telling me it was...I suppose it will be something I take to the grave.
