I am so inspired by your sitch. Your faith in God, your determination to stand your ground for the sake of your marriage and the intervention by God, your Hs awakening conscience or what ever it was that has turned your H around.
I think we start to get the truth, when WE finally stop being so willing to lie to ourselves. Each of us KNOWS/or knew, in our heart of hearts that our spouses were involved in their As.
We chose, as a means of self protection, to minimize those thoughts so as to protect OURSELVES from the pain of the truth. We to often are guilty of ENABLING our spouses to lie to us because we so willingly buy the lie. If WE want desperately to believe that our Hs A were strickly emotional then when they tell us that's all it was we're quick to grasp that lie and try to make it reality and all we do is prolong the agony of the REAL truth that's waiting around the corner for us. And when we are finally hit with the truth we get angry at ourselves for allowing ourselves to accept what we knew to be a lie.
It's all perfectly normal, we don't want to think the worst because as women, we tend to turn the 'worst' into somehow being OUR fault. We try to 'own' the guilt for THIER failure until we finally realize that WE are NOT responsible for THIER misguided decisions.
The fact that your H has 'come clean' is a phenominally rare occurance. It takes GREAT courage on your Hs part to 'risk it all' to bare his soul. He is laying his fear, his guilt, his future at your feet...he's offering you the opportunity to make a safe and sound decision for yourself....most of us never really get that.
I'm proud of you Sue, and I'm proud of your H because whatever motivated his 'turn around' it is being done with great selflessness on BOTH your parts.
