W had her OM, and had you waiting on the shelf for her -- that was a VERY comfortable position. Now the OM is gone, and she feels VERY afraid of being alone. If she can keep you on the shelf, that's going to help her get through this so she will try extra hard to keep you in place until she feels you're where she wants you. Your challenge is to not mistake the rebound for a declaration that she wants you back and is willing to do the work.

At the same time, you don't want to frustrate her by just being inaccessible. I would continue to wait and see. If she keeps making overtures, I would tell her that you're willing to discuss working on your marriage together, but nothing is going to happen until you have that discussion. At that point you will stipulate your conditions. You might want to insist that she pursue IC, or MC together, or Retrovaille, and you might want to discuss a post-nup in case she cheats again that will stipulate what will happen from a custody and financial perspective.

Good luck! With OM gone you have a real chance of getting to piecing, but you want to make sure it's on reasonable terms.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015