LL..thanks..you have been an "oldie" and know my sitch for the past year...if you remember my h always told me it was not an pa.."just friends"..well, the other night he told me ALL..it did start as firends...and when I look back..I am guessing about the time he really withdrew from me..and especially stopped touching me, it probably became more. He spilled all out, as he wanted to start to rebuild trust..and said if he did not tell all, then I would maybe doubt..i even asked if they went to a hotel..he said "yes"..he then said "I could have told you no, but then I would just be on the "train" again..and by telling you it shows that I won't keep anything from you". I told him I would have believed him if he had said no..and I would have.For the past couple years, I felt so strong that there was nothing physical...but as I told him last night, there was a twinge of me that said probably...I am so struggling as to why I am not furious..angry..bitter,hurt, right now, and I told him that maybe because this past year I have felt all those things.I am afraid it will all surface later..and I told him that.I did ask him last night if he had any doubts..did he change his mind..he asked if I thought that because he had gone out with the pastor and another ff to a restaurant/bar Fri. night..He told me pastor had left after supper, but that friend and he stayed and played darts..I have no problem with him having a ff..it was the other one that I had a problem with from the very beginning..there are friends of opposite sex that only want to be friends, then there are the others..
He did comment that the old me would have drilled him about the evening..but I did not..and he openly was telling me that 2 men had asked his friend out..knowing full well that she was with him...I said that I wonder if anyone else would hit upon me..just curious..he did say that he had thought about that in the morning..wondering if we both would have been there with him, if it would happen to both..I said that anyone that tries to pick a person up when they are clearly there with someone else..would not be the best pick..he said he had told his f that too..and she said , I don't want to pick up a guy..I just came here with a friend for a drink..(she is going through a d).
Even after only a few days of him confessing all this to me..I have no problem with his friendship with her...your gut can ttell you alot..and with the other *itch..my gut started screaming 4 years ago..turns out I was right. H even admitted that she was only for herself..I did not ask him right out "why" it happened...but when he told me he said it was a very bad decision..it just was easier to keep gong then to get off the "train".
So..LL, I don't know what to say about your h..he tells you there was no pa...do you feel there are signs..or gut feelings oterwise? I have to ponder this awhile..wow, that sounds like KAW!!!
