Starting to get it

[paul19510]

I am also beginning to realize how much the silence has helped. Whether or not it was a bad thing to tell her that, I mentioned to her the other day, the I am very aware that she did not feel heard. I told her that no matter what the outcome, I was sorry for the times when I added to that feeling in her life. I told her that I felt she was brave to take this step away because the time apart is helping me to see things that I could not seen when we were in the thick if it and living so closely.

I made her responsible for my happiness without even realizing it. Then when I didn't feel happy, she was supposedly responsible. Nobody wants to feel like they failed each day when they come home. Nobody wants to see pain on their loved one's face and think that they are part of that. I almost envision her carrying me over the shoulder (like a wounded soldier or a fireman's carry) from an emotional standpoint. I made her the "happy police". I gave her way more power in my life than I ever should have. I've begun to take that back now. That part feels nice. Have a great day!