bent not broken

[willbwell]

My story is the usual one...Around our 20 yr anniversary, h becomes distant.
I get the bomb 2 months later.
h does the usual mlc stuff. new car, trainer, new clothes,ow. he turns 50.
we separate. he comes back twice. I allow it.it lasts 2 weeks each time.
h files for D in oct.

I am back in school. I am taking care of me and kids. I GAL, I do the right healthy things for me- yoga, sleep,IC. I am spiritual. I know joy. I know my blessings.

I feel sad for h. h thinks D is the answer. I still don't want this. Have no control over what h does. I am trying very hard to trust the process. to drop the rope.

I read a lot here. It amazes me the script and how many of us have found ourselves here.

I struggle sometimes with all the true hurt and pain in the world- wars, disease, sickness, loss of a child...how could someone just be a source of pain to their family?

I know my h is in pain. I know this is his journey. But, honestly, I still have a hard time accepting him not doing the work. it is disappointing. I do/did expect better of my h. h knows this. he also knows I am forgiving. we are amicable. regardless of outcome, we will forever be parents to our children

ultimately, I know I will be ok.
I tend to be very optimistic about the New Year. It gives a chance to begin again.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories.
May we all experience peace in the New Year

PS, I was trying to look up and find how to link my other threads....can't find that info...