Ambivalent, I would strongly urge you to think about filing for support. You need that money in order to live and pay your expenses. If you don't, he could opt to not provide you w/any money, especially if he thinks you aren't serious about looking for a permanent, full time position.
Yes, seeking the advice of lawyers, filing, etc. will eat up some money, but you've got to protect yourself. I'm sure the lawyer can work out a payment plan if it is necessary, but you can't rely on him to continue to pay things for you. When they are like this, you can't put any faith in what they say they will do because I've seen entirely too many posters end up w/the short end of the stick when it comes to support, etc., w/o going to court and having something put in place.
Well, at some point, you'll need to find a position so that you can be self supporting. If you locate a great position and it pays well, I would seriously think about it...but don't take part time positions that don't pay diddly. There may come a time when in the separation papers/divorce decree that he could stipulate that he could pay you support until you finish your courses, pass the exam and get a job. Once you are in a position, the support would cease. It all depends upon the VA laws, etc. Well, the way I see it right now...you are in a trap because of finances, no income, etc. I don't want to see you remain in this trap for a long period of time because it will affect your health w/the worry and anxiety.
I would think the house should be one of the first items to look at it since it sounds like the mortgage is rather high and he's been delinquent or some of the payments and he wants it gone. There is no way that you can afford it on your support money at this time. With the house up in the air, there's no way you can take in boarders or children because it is too uncertain.
Another issue to consider is downsizing. You may not be able to move everything into a new place. You will most likely be left w/the responsibility of determining what goes w/you and what is sold or auctioned off. Unfortunately, he may not have any desire to come there and get things that he wants...it all depends on where his head is at if you mention this to him.
Again, it looks like you are going to have to be the one to drive your bus and make some very serious decisions in the days ahead. It's evident that he's made up his mind about the house already and I do think he's going to start reducing the money you are getting a month if he thinks you are stalling. You definitely need to get a document in place that states what he is to pay you each month and have it go directly to your account so that you aren't having to deal w/him.
I am very, very sorry that this is happening to you. It's not easy and you can't give up and give in. You have to stand talk, head straight ahead and keep your focus on the business at hand. Emotions can't enter into the negotiations or they won't go well for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
