i just lost my big ole "thoughtful" response letter- this laptop is gonna kill me. but it does boot up faster & i can sit and look at tree &lites...
i'm so glad you had a great holiday and laughed and had fun. we had a good one too- you and I are waaay more detached i think than we know. you definitely- and me, less "wounded" for sure. (and nary an "expectation" in sight - other than a healthy realization of all the possible bad outcomes looming- but not feeling fear - and maybe even feeling acceptance ) ta da...
i hope your eye procedure goes well and produces a good result. it's sure been a long haul with your poor little eyes.
so yay us - survived another Christmas and even had an good time in there - i am hoping 2014 is a good year. last year was such a sinkhole- too much trouble and sickness and death. 2014 has got to be better than THAT. RITE??? ONWARD y& UPWARD HUH.
now that i'm back - let me think- oh yeah-
your h hiding out during family party. maybe it's for the best in the long run. we've had some real jerky times here when people were here - and h sat rite there in the middle like a big old stone LUMP and DIDN't participate. ... it's soooo childish and embarassing for everyone- . apparently he was unable to see how boorish his behavior was - making only him look like a jerk. oh well- apparently he had no desire to "put a good face on it" and behave like a person - for me or my friends or family. (selfishness - sorry to say) his family- all charm and smarm - no matter what. (and these are step-relatives he yapps on and on about not caring about!) go figure. he's totally deluded about his own attachments & emotions.
oh yeah- just hearing that out loud- totally deluded about selves and actions. i guess that says it all huh?
anyway- still working away on my own patience & detachment in face of what i'd call h & mom's addiction to poking me to see if they can still get a "rise". they've got too much anger & edge for it to be "teasing". it used to be - maybe it's me- who the heck knows or cares.
HEY - I REALLY LIKE knowing about other grandma's boyfriend. it's true i do believe- there is love out there - if you are lucky enough to run into it and know it when yhou see it. ya know what ray says: "love will find you" - i sure hope he's rite.
we gotta keep our eyes open- just in case . i believe it can be anywhere and all sorts of people find someone- something.
fingers crossed for that in 2014. i was chatting with my cousin divorced three years now. she got me thinking with her comments about on-line dating. she's pretty "executive" , organized - kind of woman. (younger than me -maybe 40s?)exec. at j & j - competent. anyway- she said she gave it a whirl, but feels it's rather "staged" all the time and not like real life and spontanaiety. sounds reasonable to me. i'm not sure i am ready for it, honestly. i'm still hoping that like olden days- if you're meant to find someone- you just do, somewhere in your life - it happens.
oh man- pollyanna - still alive and well in there- clawing her way out of the ole well-
anyway- she also commented that she's feeling a bit dispirited and that when she got divorced three years ago she was alot more optimistic. i feel bad about that- i wonder what she expected? she's pretty "take charge" kinda gal- perhaps she figured you apply all the successful business and management principles to your own private life and produce results - like in the office. just guessing. oh well- everyone has their "road" to follow - huh? will visit with her sometime thismonth and see what she's got to offer.
i got nothin- took a long time sayin it didn't I. by my self this morning- it's too quiet- oh well. who knows, maybe i'll really surrender and get a puppy.
reading yet another good book - found by accident when helping niece in library - "the geography of bliss" by e. weiner. actual travel accounts of going to cultures where people are living a good quality life and have been shown to be the "happiest" places on earth. it's good- he's rather "bill bryson"-ish- readable. let me see if i can find something to share:
well, can't find the actual place, but there was a bit about people who percieve themselves as pretty happy (and therefore are pretty happy) and that happy people remember the good things in their lives and unhappy people remember things more accurately.
something like that- makes ya wonder . i guess it's back to pma and cup half full. i guess it's true - perspective is everything.
oh well- I am a woman determined to be happy in 2014 signing off. gonna go sew for pleasure for a bit- begin thinking of doing this new year right - .
doh de doh- this woman on her "journey" - any "destination" in sight- ???? ya gotta wonder
