forgive my inquiry but has your h admitted to the ea actually being a pa? if so was he specific with you about when it turned to a pa? etc.
As you know my h had an ea (unlike your h mine kept even the friendship aspect of it hidden) and though he is now home still denies it ever being a pa. This is something I struggle with often and stories like yours helped me to believe that an ea is possible but now (not just as a result of your h's ea actually being a pa) I'm finding it harder and harder to believe and I don't know what to do.
honestly I believe that this struggle is a big part of what is keeping me from getting comfortable (and not in the bad way of resorting to the old ways) in this m.
it's been a while since I've asked h the same old question of "was it ever physical" and am reluctant to ask again as it usually ends up with both of us discouraged.
good luck to you sue, I had a feeling your h would come around...as you've seen sometimes that patience really does pay off.
oh yeah you asked if it's common for things to happen so suddenly...a yup!! one week my h was sure he wanted a d and the next he was telling me he loved me and that he was sorry and ashamed of himself. It's still a long road ahead and the pace will slow a bit. Don't forget all you have learned about yourself and relationships on this journey. If you'd ever like to corrospond off the board feel free to email me at smukinfart@msn.com LL