I am again so overwhelmed...am not able to sleep...got the DR book out..first time in over a year..read the "Infidelity" chapter..as I never really wanted to believe it was a pa, it sayd it all..about the emotions..I worry that I am not feeling some of them..I do not have a sense of anger...it does give the other spouse some ytips..so I will offer it to h.
He came to my workplace today...I was shocked..just wanted to say "hi"..I did ask if he wanted to hang out tonight, but he said it was his night to go out with a couple staff members from church to rehash things over..they told him to invite me, but I said it was ok..he did not have to include me in everything..he did ask me to a movie Sat. night..I would like to see the new one out.."Miracle"..suppose to be uplifting... I am tossing around feelings tonight that are bothering me..in the book, Michelle says to spend more time together, but I don't want to suffocate him...she says to the s that had the affair that there might be many questions and to answer them..which he did...reading that chapter has given me the ok to have these feelings..
Holdingon...h said with not having a job, it has given him time to think..and that after the sermon last Sunday about everyone having a purpose..and that God has your life planned out, that he had a "God" moment..that to come and admit what had happened to me, is what he needed to do to clear the guilt and pace that he has been carrying for so long....again he said it was easier to just keep going and not admit to the wrong doings...it frightens me that it is so sudden...can any other vets here assure me that it is not a sign of regret later for him? Our r 25 years ago was quick..not that I regret it..we have lasted alot longer than most m today..I will continue to grasp the feelings. Keep praying for God to work on your h heart..and his life..to make him happy with or without you..whatever He has planned...keep asking him for the strength to make it through each day..
Mooka..I will look you up..by all let your h go..if that is what his mind and heart tell him he needs to do..I dreaded it for along time..and there are many lonly days and nights..but it is the time to work on healing you and fixing the things that you need to fix...PATIENCE...has been a thorn in my side..as you have read...also letting go...I doubted for so long that not talking to him would be of any benefit..but it is...maintain a friendship..work on letting go of anger and bitterness..and work on you..
