My sweet friend, you and I have talked about some of this.
You know, I think in this life, some people think that one should not be sad. And I dont think that is right.
You had a great lifestory with this man. You love him deeply. So, it stands to reason that you are sad from time to time. He looks the same, yet he is not.
I would be worried about you if you didnt feel this way at times.
All this is counterintuitive to what you want to be doing. You want to be holding him and kissing him and feeling him close. You want to have a real marriage with the man you love. You dont want him to be in crisis or have an ow.
Just as the holidays wreak havoc with them, hence that many BDs happen around them, they can cause some turmoil within us.
I like your devotional about the new normal. And yes, we have to embrace what is. But it is also ok to mourn what was. Just so long as we dont get mired down in it.
So, my friend, I see some positive stuff happening. And that is a good thing. I also agree that you deserve to have what you yearn for. And that might mean letting him go completely in order to have the best chance to get it.
I know that you will do this in your own time, in your amazing TVS way. And that is ok, too.
