[SemperFi00]

Thanks labug for the comments and continued interest.

Sorry for the delayed response - have been a little out of pocket and trying to just enjoy some down time away from work and with the kids.

The holidays add stress to most people's lives and depression usually worsens (not diagnosing but she has a lot of the signs)

Do not worry at all about diagnosing - I think that there is clearly something there in this space but doesn't really matter much until W recognizes or wants to get help. She already takes a generic for prozac (has been for several years)

At least 2x in the last 2 weeks she has been crying for what appears to be no reason at all. Both times I have asked if there is something I can help with and when she states no, have left it at that.

Different for me - in the past I would have pushed to try adn get her to tell me what was wrong or to try and see how I could help.

Maybe this is part of detachment???? Being present and willing to help if needed / wanted while at the same time providing some space / distance so they can be responsible for themselves?

Do you feel that you have to do more housekeeping and she isn't doing her share?

Yes - although not just housework. Also making less meals and instead picking up take-out more, in general just spending less time doing anything at home.......

I guess probably just part of the script and I am getting more used to it. After all, if she moves forward with her plans I will have to take care of all those things anyway, right????

How important to you is the other stuff? I used to get all hung up on all the Christmas stuff and baking and cards and decorating and on and on. I was so stressed I didn't enjoy the season much. Now I have a very small tree, but it's beautiful and put out about 5 small decorations in the house. The outside got lights this year because S20 wanted to do it.I don't bake unless I want to, and send cards to people I really care about, this year I think there were 5. I also don't do a lot of shopping. Several years ago I turned the shopping for H's family over to him.

Why did you hang the wreaths W asked you to leave?

Not as important as in past years. Took a very similar approach as you describe this year and seemed to work out ok. Wish others had been more engaged but all seemed to work out fine.

Did what I could for decorating, shopping, wrapping but also took time to just watch Christmas movies w/S8, etc.... And was fairly sucessful in not getting stressed about what wasn't getting done.

I ended up hanging the wreaths and lights in the windows because I had done other decorations and wanted to get them either hung or put away. Waited about 4-5 days to give W plenty of opportunity (w/o saying anything else) and then just took care of it while she was out one evening. Curious why you asked about that specifically?

Wishing everyone here a (belated) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!